Untuk apa-apa bicara berkaitan aqidah Islam.
Pengendali :: g@y@t


Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Apr 10, 2003 4:39 am


Kaifahalukum saudara2ku fillah??? Semoga
kita semua diberi petunjuk dan kekuatan
untuk menghayati Islam yang kita anuti..

Ana suka baca kisah insan2 yang mendapat
nur hidayah.., insaf betapa mahalnya harga

Comparative Study Brought Me To Islam


In 1992, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She was like an angel, I had never seen a more beautiful baby, and she seemed too good to be true. She was. In November of the same year, when baby Tina was just 5 months old, she died of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (also known as SIDS). I was devastated, and angry, I didn’t understand how God could take my child when there were babies in the world who were suffering. At the funeral people assured me, "You’ll see her in heaven someday." I would just say, "How do you know I’m going to heaven?" Well, I decided to set out to find the true religion, which would put me on the path to see my daughter again. Having been raised a Christian, I could no longer blindly accept the religion as I could before. I needed answers, I needed something to make sense. Every night for two years I would pray the same thing.

"Dear God. I know you already know what is in my heart, but I am hurting. You took away my baby when I wasn’t looking. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I want to see her again. So, could you please show me the right path? The one you want me to take? I can’t believe that Christianity is what you want of me. It doesn’t make sense to me. So please show what the right religion is so I can get started. Thank you very much. Oh, and could you send me a Husband so I can have more babies? Thanks God, please take good care of my baby, tell her I love her and I miss her very much."

By the time I finished, I would be in tears. I studied many religions, but none could hold my interest. I began to think that God had forgotten about me, that he had more important things to do. Then one day, when I was working in a bar, I met another woman who worked there. We became friends, and she told me about her "Grand Plan". She asked me if I would go to Malaysia to set up an import/export contact for her. She couldn’t leave her children behind, and she would pay me, plus cover all of my expenses. I said, "When do I leave?"

I got on the plane with only two suitcases, my purse and no knowledge of how I was going to accomplish my goals, let alone where I was going to stay. I was so excited! I arrived in Malaysia in the middle of Ramadan. Everyone was so nice to me, and I was so paranoid. I kept thinking people were going to mug me, or maybe something worse. But not only were they just being nice, they didn’t want anything in return. Never have I met a more wonderful group of people than when I was in Malaysia. I asked the cab driver why everyone was in such a good mood, he said, "This is Ramadan, and whenever we do a good deed, Allah will reward us double." I said, "Cool God." At the hotel, I engaged in many arguments with the bell boys about which religion is better.

Islam vs. Christianity. I didn’t win one fight. They asked me questions about my own religion I couldn’t answer. And why on earth was I defending a religion I don’t even believe in ???? They would take me out to eat, and not eat. The women wore long sleeves and scarves. If I lost my temper, they would only walk away.

This was too much. Every time I asked them why they did something, all they could say was "Because the Qur’an tells us to". Wrong answer for an American like me. That’s like my mom telling me I could not stay up late "Because I said so". I needed concrete answers. So, with the help of a Malay friend, I bought a Qur’an, and a few other books about Islam. I locked myself in my room for two weeks. I would not come out for anything or anyone. I read the Qur’an and the books. After 48 hours I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I had found what I had searched for. This is what God wants me to do. But there was one problem.

It wasn’t Islam’s view of Jesus. It wasn’t even the fact that I would have to throw away every article of clothing I owned and start to wear an entirely different style of dress. The problem was how was I going to get my mother to accept the fact that I was a Muslim? I knew this was not going to be easy. I agonized over the decision, not able to eat, concentrate, or even sleep peacefully. The entire time I agonized I had the same nightmare, that an Angel had my child in her arms and there were devils (Jinn) after her. I spent all night fighting off these awful creatures. They wanted me to stay the way I saw, and the Angel wanted me to become a Muslim. They were fighting over me. I would wake up drenched with sweat and tears, and often bruised with no idea where the bruises came from. One night I was fighting this jinn and it scratched my face. I remember saying, "Oh, no you didn’t! Don’t you know better than to scratch a woman’s face?" and I kicked it. Finally, after a night of fighting (two weeks of this), I woke up out of bed screaming, "Alright I will become a Muslim! I’ll do it today!" I immediately felt the most incredible peace throughout my whole body. I had never felt anything like it before or since. I knew Allah was pleased with me.

I went downstairs to the bellboys who had worked so hard to turn me into a Muslim to announce that I was ready to "take the plunge" only to have them tell me "No"! They told me that Islam wasn’t something to be taken lightly.

Once you become a Muslim, you are a Muslim for life. Then they said "Oh, what happened to your face?" I looked in the mirror and my face was scratched! I told them of my dreams and that was my first lesson about Jinn. Then they agreed that I should be a Muslim right away, and they took me to Perkim, a Muslim Organisation in Kuala Lumpur for new Muslims. I took my Shahadah on June 15, 1994.

I have never looked back since.

[SAFIYAH JOHNSON used to work with ISNA. She has recently moved to Milwaukee, Wisconsin in the USA following her marriage on May 29, 1999. She is planning to start classes at the American Open University for Islamic Studies.]

Last edited by fikrah_islami on Mon Dec 14, 2009 5:13 pm, edited 9 times in total.
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Apr 10, 2003 4:47 am

Sophie's Story

Asalaamu Alaikum. My name is Sophie, I am english and I reverted to Islam in January 1997. The way I came to Islam is a little unusual, I wasn't introduced to it by anybody like most people are. I don't know how comprehensive this has to be, but I'll try my best. I am of a northern european catholic and protestant background, but my parents were not religious since they left the Quaker church in the early 1970's. My parents always encouraged me to be whatever I wanted to be and they'd support me in that, they gave me a name which did not have any religious connotations. When I was a child I always believed in God and God alone. Subhan'Allah all the other kids at school believed this too at the time. I suppose it was fitrah.
After this, I went through a phase of not really knowing what I believed, but I knew the truth was out there and I just had to find it. When I was 12, we studied Arab history in school, and it also covered Islam. Before this time, living in a very un-multi cultural kind of area, I had thought Islam was a religion that worshipped many Gods and believed all manner of other illogical things. The only muslims I had ever known were a brother and sister in primary school and their family was not really practicing. When I found out this wasn't true, that Islam was a monotheistic religion despite the negative things I had also heard, I knew I had to find out more. Boy did I study! I read every single book on Islam in my local library and my school library, a while later I also hooked up to the internet and read everything I found there. I became more and more convinced I had to convert. A month and five days after my fifteenth birthday I said Shahada in the Islamicity chat room, although it took me ahile to adjust, I am a fully practicing sister now, and am studying art, english and maths at school. I also have many 'real life' muslims friends now. I am hoping inshallah to one day get married to a good brother.

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Postby Aliff on Sat Apr 12, 2003 9:45 pm


ya, cerita-cerita sebegini amat baik. Banyak pengajaran dan pelajaran yang boleh kita perolehi, disamping menambah keimanan kita
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Postby fikrah_islami on Fri Apr 18, 2003 7:47 am


Syukran aliff...:senyum:
Yea..., menambahkan keimanan..Windows

i have a poem here...:senyum:

By: Hadayai Majeed


I see out the window

I wander how the window sees me

I dream out the window

I wander if my dreams ever see me

I daze out the window admiring Allah's creation

I wander how Allah's creation sees me

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Fri Apr 18, 2003 10:51 am

mencari kebenaran...

Hari tu aku sempat baca satu article.
Majalah milik ex-arqam. Aku suka cara
bahasa diorang yang bijak mengolah
cerita untuk difahami semua..

Dulu aku bersyukur sangat kerana
sempat menatap dan membilik majalah
ayu, dunia baru dan ok terbitan karya
one. Sekarang takde dah majalah2 tu,
digantikan ngan anis n asuh. Rugi rasa
-nya kerajaan mengharamkan majalah2
tu. Syukurlah aku pernah membaca
input yang sangat menarik dan sangat
penting kepadaku...yang terlalu dahaga
-kan hidayah dari NYA..

Erm apa yang aku baca hari tu, ianya
berkisar tentang sosial problems di
kalangan metal atau
nama lainnya black mental. Menakutkan
sungguh budaya yang diserapkan kepada
mereka yang fanatik ngan black mental
nie... kata pengarang, sebelum nie
kita disibukkan dgn. masalah buang
bayi, bohsia, dadah, gengster dll..
sekejap ja pastu senyap. Cam black
mental nie pun sekejap jer, dah
senyap dah pun.. taktau apa citer

Kata pengarang tu lagi, tiap issue tu
bila bertelur..bising, riuh sekampung.
Lepas tu senyap, masih tetap berlaku.
Sumer cerdik pandai memberikan buah
fikiran tapi bukan memberikan ubat
yang terbaik..

Sumer masalah tu sebab tak kenal
Tuhan. Kenal Tuhan
berbeza ngan tahu. Pelajar diajar utk
tahu tapi bukan untuk kenal..kenal
itu di hati, tahu itu di 'aqal.
Termasuk budak2 skolah agama sendiri
pun...tu pasal la masih wujud yang
terlanjur dll...

Kalau kita kenal Allah SWT itu
Maha Melihat, Allah Maha Mendengar,
Allah MAha Tahu, Allah Maha Penyayang
... kita pun jadi takut dan cinta
kepada Allah Rabbul Jalil...

Barulah aku perasan formula nie.
sebelum nie taktau nak sebut lagu
mana... refresh IMAN pun ngan kalimah

Pokoknya dalam hidup inie wajib
mengESAkan DIA dalam sumer
tindak tanduk...

Aduh, seringkali aku lupa..

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Sat Apr 19, 2003 12:24 am



Hidayah terkadang tiada terkira jalan ceritanya, tiada terduga titik
mulanya...namun hidayah dapat dirasakan kehadirannya, bak oase di padang pasir yang memabukkan jiwa yang tersibghah oleh kehadirannya...


Mungkin kehadiranku bukanlah membawa angin cerah bagi perjalanan da'wah al-islam saat itu...aku hanyalah bagian dari kehidupan hedonisme dengan orientasi short temporal. aku hanyalah sesosok anak perempuan kecil yang justru menjadi penyeru dalam kelalaian...dengan bangganya aku menyebarkan
gaya bahasa "gaul" di lingkungan SD...aneh! ya aneh! untuk anak secerdas aku, aku justru kehilangan idealisme ber-EYD...beranjak remaja, aku semakin mencintai dunia...mall adalah santapan mingguanku...ah! mungkin jika aku menonton tayangan televisi bertemakan remaja akhir-akhir ini, hidupku yang dulu tidak jauh dari itu...keluasan rezeki yang diberikan Allah untukku
belum aku arahkan dalam ketaatan


sama seperti kebanyakan remaja lainnya, akupun tidak terlepas dari syndroma merah jambu...kali ini korbannya adalah seorang laki-laki sebaya yang sederhana, pintar, alim...kenapa??? aku juga tidak tahu...
darinya aku mengerti bahkan tidak hanya mengerti tapi mau untuk menjalankan
shalat lima waktu, unbelieveble!
darinya pula tumbuh sebuah motivasi kecil untuk berhijab!!!


keluargaku belum bisa dikategorikan sebagai keluarga islami ...bahkan jauh dari itu. Mungkin itu pula yang mendukung aku mengapa sampai usia itu, aku baru mau shalat lima waktu...karena aku tidak pernah mendapatkannya dari keluarga...
ada sebuah memori yang pahit namun membuat bibirku mengembangkan sesimpul senyum...aku bahkan tidak bisa membedakan qur'an dan kitab-kitab pesantrean-an...untuk rumah sebesar itu hanya ada satu al-qur'an dan itupun tersimpan di bagian paling atas dari lemari


skenario yang lucu! dan tiada terduga...
meskipun aku anak yang tergolong cerdas namun gaya hedon membuat aku malas belajar...raport smp kelas 1 dan 2 ku hancur...dan aku berniat merecovery semuanya di kelas tiga, alhamdulillah recovery itu berbuah hasil...aku berhasil masuk SMU favorit. aku tidak mengerti semua ini...aku hanya membatin sepertinya ada sesuatu
yang aku dapatkan dari SMU itu.


aku semakin tidak mengerti...
mengapa aku memilih DKM sebagai ekstra kulikulerku...mengapa ada banyak tanda tanya dalam diriku...mengapa aku tertarik dengan kakak-kakak kelasku yang berjilbab...
mengapa aku tiba-tiba merasa seperti diawasi...mengapa aku merasa tidak aman untuk jalan bareng dengan "teman laki-laki
dekatku" mengapa aku merasa semua orang memojokanku padahal tak satupun ada yang
berubah mengapa aku begitu takut...takut...sangat takut
mungkin orang tidak mengerti apa yang aku rasakan.


aku putus...
aku yang memutuskannya...
aku merasa tidak nyaman...


malam itu tidak seperti biasanya, usai shalat isya, aku enggan melepas mukenaku...
tangisku buncah...bergejolak!!!
aku ingin berhijab


tidak satupun anggota keluarga yang memberi dukungan positif padaku aku harus merayu...terus merayu...
namun ketetapan hatiku sudah bulat, sepertinya agak sedikit kupaksakan
mereka untuk mengerti keputusanku
aku enggan menunggu lama aku memutuskan menggunakan jilbab padahal orangtuaku belum juga mengizinkan


tekadku kuat untuk membuktikan bahwa keputusanku benar...bahwa dengan berjilbab bukan berarti aku mundur namun sebaliknya...bahkan lebih maju...dan mereka melihat itu...sekarang setelah 6 tahun dan untuk selanjutnya!


seperti yang dituturkan seorang akhwat padaku...semoga sepenggal cerita nyata ini menyimpan seribu makna...

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby tarabas on Mon Apr 21, 2003 2:09 am

Kadang-kadang Tarabas rasa simpati terhadap salah seorang kawan ibu Tarabas...kak 'A'. Semasa dia menganut Islam waktu study...semua keluarga dia bulat-bulat membuang dia...kasihan.Tiada tempat mengadu.selepas belajar, Kak A bekerja dan berkahwin. Sepatutnya suami dia perlulah memberi sokongan padu untuk membantu Kak A mengenali Islam ini malangnya suami Kak A tak seperti yang diharapkan. Balik rumah pun setahun sekali payah. Kasihan kepada Kak A dgn anaknya.Selamatlah Kak A bekerja. Namun Kak A tetap tabah dan Kak A masih meneruskan perjuangan hidupnya dalam mendalami ilmu-ilmu Islam ini untuk menjadi muslimah yang berjaya di sebuah pusat pendidikan Islam swasta. Semoga Kak A akan terus mendapat hidayah dari-Nya.
ignorance is bliss
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Postby fikrah_islami on Fri May 09, 2003 9:12 pm


tarabas.., syukran... cerita yang menarik... camtulah,
apabila Islam yang dipilih, tentunya banyak cabaran yang
terpaksa ditempuh...:)

Apabila kita Islam kerena Allah SWT bukan kerana bf atau
sesipa..., dugaan yang datang...makin kuat jiwa kita
bergantung kepada RABBal 'alamin... begitulah..

cintakan bunga...bunga kan layu, cintakan manusia...
manusia kan mati, cintakan ALlah SWT...kekal buat

Kirim salam kat akak tu... salam perjuangan...

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Mon May 26, 2003 5:48 pm


Assalamualaikum buat kepada Pecinta Kebenaran!

Sesiapa sahaja boleh mnegaku dia di dalam kebenaran,
namun untuk mendapatkan kebenaran hakiki perlulah ada
panduan dan pimpinan daripada ALLAH. Lebih lebih lagi
di akhir zaman ini lagilah sulit, dengan terdapat
pelbagai fahaman dan isme yang masing-masing
menyatakan dia benar dan patut diikuti.

Tidak semua orang yang mencari kebenaran memperoleh
kebenaran. Sedikit sahaja orang yang bertemu dengan
kebenaran. Lantaran itulah ALLAh mengingatkan kita
"Sedikit sekali hamba-hamba Aku yang bersyukur."

Junjungan Mulia ada bersabda yang mafhumnya lebih
kurang: "Di akhirzaman, umatku akan berpecah kepada 73
golongan. Semuanya akan masuk nerka kecuali satu yang
mengikut sunnah aku dan mengikut sunnah Khulafa'
ar-rasyidin(sahabat-sahabat)[ahli Sunnah wal Jamaah]."

Kaedah Mencari Kebenaran

Dalam manusia mencari kebenaran, berbagai-bagai jalan
dtempoh orang. Antaranya ialah;

1. Mengikut orang ramai
2. Mengikut Orang besar
3. Mengikut Ulama-ulama'
4. Mengikut Penguasa negara

Mengikut Orang ramai

A. Tidak semestnya kebenaran itu terletak kepada orang
ramai . Ertinya dengan mengikut orang ramai tidak
akan menjamin dapat menemui kebenaran. Dalam al-Qur'an
ada dinyatakan orang yang berada dalam kebenaran
itu adalah amat sedikit.

B. Mengikut sejarah juga terbukti pengikut-pengikut
kebenaran itu biasanya tida ramai sebagaimana kisah
da'wah Nabi NUh selama 950 tahun yang mana
pengikut-pengikutnya hanya lebih kurang 83 orang
berbanding penentang-penentangnya.

Mengikut Orang Besar

A. Ditolak oleh ALLAH berdasarkan firman-Nya dalam
Kalam Agung, al-Quran yang mafhumnya "Pemuda-pemuda
dari kaum Hud berkata, 'Sesunggunya kami benar-benar
memandang kamu berada kurang akal dan sesunggunya
kami menganggap kamu termasuk orang-orang berdusta.'"

B. Ditolak oleh kenyataan sejarah. Sebagai contoh
kisah yang mana Imam-imam Mujtahid seperti Imam
Syafi'i, Hanbali, Hanafi dn lain-lain ditentang oleh
para pembesar terutam golongan ulama yang
berjawatan di Istana.

Mengikut Ulama'-ulama'

Di akhir zaman ini dinyatakan bahawa para ulamanya
banyaknay yang fasiq. Mafhum sabdaan Baginda, "Akan
belaku diakhir zaman yang ahli ibdahnya jahil dan
ulama'nya fasiq(menjual kebenaran untuk kepentingan

Mengikut Penguasa Negara

Kebanyakan pemerintah atau penguasa negara adalah
orang yang fasiq dan zalim.

Kesemua cara di atas, jika diikuti, kita tidak akan
menemui kebenaran. Untuk mencari kebenaran, Imam
Ghazali Rahmatu aliah memberi panduan dengan berkata
"Ikutilah ahli-ahli yang mengikut Rasulullah,
sahabat-sahabat dan para tabi'in(dalam 300 tahun)"
Maknanya, kita hendaklah mengikut kebenaran yang
dibawa oleh mereka yang lahir disekitar 300 tahun
bermula dengan hidupnyanya Junjungan Mulia sehinggalah
zaman para tabi'in(Org yang melihat sahabat) dan tabi'
tabi'in. inilah dikatakan golongan ini dikatakan

Hari ini kita wajib berhati-hati, selalu doa' kepada
ALLAH azza wa jal supaya letakkan diri kita sentiasa
dalam Taufiq dan Hidayah-Nya, dan terhindar dari apa
jua kesesatan, sentiasa beristigfar, tanamkan dalam
jiwa sifat Khouf wa raja' (takut dan harap) agar Kasih
ALLAH sentiasa pada kita, hamba-Nya yang selalu
berbuat dosa ini.

Oh, ALLAH! Letakkan aku ini sentiasa dalam Pimpinan

Hamba Allah yang sering berbuat dosa,

Muhammad Qatadah al-juhuri
Nov 2000

rujukan : e-mail friend

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed May 28, 2003 5:39 pm


mencari hidayah... :) :) :)

Testimony of Akifah Baxter

I have always been aware of the existence of God. I have always felt that He was there. Sometimes that feeling was distant, and often times I ignored it. But I could never deny this knowledge. Because of this, throughout my life, I have been searching for the truth of His Plan.

I have attented many churches. I listened, I prayed, I talked to people from all different faiths. But it seemed that there was always something that didn't feel right, it felt confusing, like there was something missing. I've heard many people in the past say to me, "Well, I believe in God, but I don't belong to any religion. They all seem wrong to me." This was my feeling exactly, however, I didn't want to just let it go at that and just accept it. I knew that if God exists then He wouldn't just leave us with no direction, or even a warped version of the truth. There had to be a plan, a "true religion." I just had to find it.

The various Christian churches is where I concentrated my search, simply because that is what I grew up with, and there seemed to be some truths in some of their teachings. However, there were so many different views, so many conflicting teachings on basic things like how to pray, who to pray to or through, who was going to be "saved", and who wasn't, and what a person had to do to get "saved." It seemed so convoluted. I felt I was near giving up. I had just come from yet another church whose views on God, and the purpose of our existence, left me so completely frustrated because I knew what they were teaching wasn't true.

One day, I had wandered in the bookstore and I went over to the religious section. As I stood there gazing over the vast array of mostly Christian books, a thought occured to me to see if they had anything on Islam. I knew virtually nothing about Islam, and when I picked up the first book it was solely out of curiosity. But I became excited with what I was reading. One of the first things that struck me was the statement 'There is no god but Allah,' He has no associates, and all prayers and worship are directed to Him alone. This seemed so simple, so powerful, so direct, and made so much sense. So from there I started reading everything I could about Islam.

Everything I read made so much sense to me. It was as if suddenly all the pieces of this puzzle were fitting perfectly, and a clear picture was emerging. I was so excited my heart would race any time I read anything about Islam. Then, when I read the Qur'an, I felt like I was truly blessed to be able to read this. I knew that this had come directly from Allah through His Messenger (SAW). This was it, the truth. I felt like all along I had been a Muslim but I just didn't know it until now. Now as I start my life as a Muslim, I have a sense of peace and security knowing that what I am learning is the pure truth and will take me closer to Allah. May Allah keep guiding me. Ameen.


Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed May 28, 2003 5:56 pm

one more story... :) :)

[b]Karen's Testimony[/b]

August 1, 1998.

"Islam" is not only a religion, but also a way of life. It is so vast and all encompassing that I always feel inadequate trying to explain why I believe in it. Non-Muslims always ask me "why did you convert?" and Muslims always ask "how did you come to embrace Islam?" There is something very significant in those two ways of wording the same question. Those in the family of Islam know that it is truly like embracing something you love. It's more than just a strong belief that something is truth. It's a strong sense of love you get with the whole ...being...that Islam is. And who doesn't like the feeling of being in love, eh?

Here is the story of how I came to embrace with love the religion of Islam and take on the life of a Muslim. I ask the reader to forgive my ramblings that will take us back into my memories and forward again to the present, and I ask God to forgive my ignorance if I have fallen to that anywhere in this writing. This a long story in that I, like all of God's creations, was born a Muslim, but it took 35 years over the path that led me to Islam. (Believe it or not I have spared you most of the gory details!)

I often wondered if I was really ever to be here on this earth or, if I was, whether my destiny was simply to struggle through harsh circumstances my entire life. From inside my mother's womb, I was almost miscarried. Under appalling "medical" circumstances at the time of delivery, even the nurse tried to push me back inside my mother. But against all odds, on July 8, 1960 at 4:30 in the morning, I was born whole and healthy and began my journey.

I was second eldest of what would be seven siblings, which naturally placed me into a life of observation and responsibility, as I began to help my mother with the younger children. This did not stop me from being an ornery child, but to my benefit, God endowed me with a personality of insatiable curiosity.

My mother, who was herself very spiritual, had converted to the Roman Catholic religion after a miraculous experience early in her adult life, and my father had always been a devout catholic. The churches we attended (every Sunday) seemed always to have been unique and not quite the normal traditional teachings of the Catholic church so that I got a very "universal" teaching of the messages of Jesus with the emphasis being on God and His kingdom in heaven (not on Jesus as God). It was a requirement back in my early days for young girls and women to wear a scarf or some type of head covering when we attended church services. At Catholic School, we girls also were required to wear a specific type of head cover at all times.

I grew up "in the 60's", that time when political activism was high. My parents were among some of the groups that organized freedom marches and neighborhood meetings in an attempt to squelch racism and promote equal rights. Mostly, they exhibited their stance by example. I remember a story my mother told of her having organized one such gathering of neighbors who she hoped would join her in marching at the capitol. In the middle of her enthusiastic oration to the group, one particularly prejudiced neighbor lost her patience and confronted my mother with the ultimate question: "Audrey! What are you doing?! Honestly, how would you feel if your daughter came to you when she was 18 and said 'Mom, I want to marry a black man.'?" My mother's first reaction was to consider my already famous "feisty" attitude and retorted, "what black man would WANT to marry her??" She was kidding of course (right, Mom?), but it was indicative of the non-existent prejudice for race, color or social standing by which she lived.

Throughout my childhood and early adult life, I was taught by priests with liberal viewpoints who, so long as the seed of faith was at least sewn, considered it healthy and good to question faith and traditional teachings. In high school, as in college, it was incumbent upon me to learn about "World Religions". This was my very first introduction to Islam. I never met any Muslims or read much about them. In fact, the mention of Islam in my textbooks was always very brief. Basically, we learned these three facts: "Islam is one of the Great Religions of the world, it is a monotheistic religion, and this man named Mohammed was the religious leader." I'm not sure, but there's a possibility that one of the two classes also may have mentioned that a muslim prays five times a day. History class was another story. Of course, we learned all about the "Moslems" who "still live by the sword" and were atrocious monsters during the time of the Crusades. A Muslim, or the religion of Islam, was always a world away, or another time in history far removed from anything important of the day.

Until 1981, Islam was a sentence or two poked away in the recesses of my memory banks and "Muslim" was a word I often confused with a type of fabric (as in "muslin sheets"). After 1981 (and still today), however, what American could not have lived without seeing the constant barrage of terrorism displayed in the news and media? Indelibly etched in my mind is my 1981 college yearbook cover - a photograph of some students play-acting the American hostages in Iran, blindfolded, a violent, crazed and angry-faced Ayatollah Khomeni sketched in charcoal behind them. Above them, the words "Lest we forget..." made it impossible to do just that. We students feared anything or anyone from the Middle East.

I went to a Baptist affiliated college where studying the Bible was a requirement. Much to my surprise (and delight), however, "The Bible" was taught as an historical artifact , an archeological piece of literature. The class was taught by an ordained Methodist minister who also happened to be a very learned, and well-respected archaeologist. He taught us all about the many modifications and literary styles of the bible, how you could tell that the various books and sections of the Bible had actually been written at different periods over very long stretches of time, and how it has so many different versions now. He told us about how the monks used to edit the texts according to political requirements of the time (and that those original and edited versions have now been uncovered), or how often times words were simply mistakenly translated incorrectly, etc. Needless to say, the class material was a shocking, but enlightening experience. The best thing to come of it was that, from then on, I felt it was okay for me to focus on the MESSAGE within the Bible, the MESSAGE that Christ brought, and not the literal word or interpretation therein. I continued to question things intensely after that point. For instance, I thought, "What was the original meaning of the English translation of the words 'Christ' and 'Messiah'?" and "Why is it that when Jesus called himself the son of God he couldn't have meant that he, like all of us, are sons and daughters of God -- in the figurative, not literal sense?"

Despite my orneriness and curiosity, I grew up to be a very religious, very spiritual person, even if it was true that I questioned parts of my beloved church's teachings. One priest even dubbed that being "pregnant with faith" and assured me that it was a blessed state to be in. It was beautiful to grow up with a feeling of being connected to God and to constantly notice His miracles in my every day life. Still those questions nagged at me though. I could never fully accept, could not fully understand or feel that I believed, for example, why we should eat Christ's body and drink his blood. Yes we were doing it "in remembrance" of him, but why did he want us to remember him THAT way? But yes, to have blind faith was what I wanted, so I pushed the nagging questions back out of my mind for awhile. Again and again, they popped back out to the front though. "Why are there Three Gods in One? Why would God need to be three separate entities? Why did God have to 'rest' on the seventh day? How long is one of God's days? If Jesus is God, then why did he have a conversation with God when he was hanging on the cross? Isn't God the All-Knowing? If Jesus was God and God is All-Knowing, Jesus would never have had to ask God, "Father, why have you forsaken me?" God would not have needed the question, and Jesus would not have needed the answer. God, even as a man, would not be limited in their knowledge of each other."

Throughout my life, one of the biggest parts of my heart had been devoted to a particular entity for whom I felt much reverence and for whom I held an extreme fascination. This reverence was in large part connected to the growth of my spirituality. Perhaps it is not surprising that that entity who held most of my interest and admiration (aside from God Himself) was not my "brother", Jesus Christ, but his mother, the Virgin Mary. I can remember being most enthralled with the songs we sang about her. The "Hail Mary" prayer was one of my favorites whenever I felt especially ashamed of a sin I had committed. I hoped that Mary could regard me as an errant child, and would intercede on my behalf to the All Mighty Father. ("Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou amongst women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus. Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen.). I secretly always wished I could dress like her, and I thought that she, at least in the depictions of her I had ever seen, was the most beautiful woman most likely ever to have walked the earth. I wanted to be a mother like her! I followed the various groups of "Maryology" fanatics, and had always been interested in those stories of people who have claimed to have had visions of Mary. My chosen religious name in the Catholic church, that is, my "confirmation name" (that name one takes when they have completed the sacrament of becoming an "adult" in the church) was "Burnadette", after Saint Burnadette, the French girl who saw visions of Mary at Lourdes, France. Over time, I came to identify the one recurring message in all the supposed visions and communications by Mary to the faithful visionaries and it is simply this: "Pray! Pray! Pray!" Coincidentally, though I knew next to nothing of Islam at the time, I noticed that her messages were to pray at many intervals during the day, but especially at the noontime.

In 1983 I graduated college and received a degree in Special Education. That means that I spent more than the usual amount of time in college and obtained a degree in Elementary Education, but have further endorsements that make me a "specialist" in teaching reading and teaching children with learning disabilities. Perhaps it is part of my nature or an attribute of my personality that was fostered through my college education (I think it is the former), but it is my way to take everything in life and break it down to it's smaller, more manageable components. I do this with a whole picture in mind of where we want to be headed in the end.

I spent 2 years teaching before I met my future husband, a seemingly pious, devout Catholic who was not only gentle, kind and giving, but highly intelligent and insightful. Everything seemed perfect, in fact, he seemed to have been "heaven sent". We met in the church where he had been assigned to work for the summer and we came to have many long philosophical conversations about life and family. The only trouble was, he had been assigned to work at the church because he was a Seminarian (one who is studying to become a Catholic priest). Since Catholic priests may not marry and must remain celibate, but because we felt that we had fallen in love with each other, I was at a loss over what to do. At any time I expected that the sky was going to open up, a loud thunder would crash and a bolt of lightening would come to strike me down for taking an interest in a "man of the cloth", for "taking him away from God" as some older ladies in the church put it. I prayed for a sign from God that I would recognize as a clear indication that I should NOT go further in the relationship with this man. The very next morning he came to me and told me he had decided to leave behind his course of becoming a Catholic priest. He asked if I would marry him, and thinking "what clearer sign could there be than a proposal of marriage?" I accepted on the spot. I would teach for a third year before we moved across the country where he decided to pursue a law degree. One might say that the competitive grind of law school alone is enough to put most marriages through a test that cannot be passed. We had more than the usual share of obstacles, traumatic events, and hardships in our first year of marriage. In fact, it is my recollection that our lives turned upside-down on the day after we said, "I do".

Eight months after we were married, In March of 1985, we lost one of my six brothers. He was murdered by a single gunshot bullet to the heart. After 6 hours of surgery and 30 units of blood, there was still one hole in his heart that the doctors could not find and so he bled to death. At first it looked hopeful that he would survive and an orderly had come out to tell us that the doctors were just finishing up. I said another "Our Father" ("The Lord's Prayer" -- that prayer that Jesus taught us: "Our Father, Who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive us our tresspasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For Thine is the Kingdom, and the Power, and the Glory, forever and ever. Amen") Suddenly, two things happened simultaneously. One was that I envisioned my brother laid out in a casket. I saw his dead body and every detail of the church and the clothes he was laid to rest in. The second thing was an enormous feeling of being enveloped in something. I mean that *I* was enveloped suddenly, by something I can only describe as a peaceful energy source or field around me. In my mind, though it was not in any spoken language, I felt an understanding of the words, "everything is alright -- there is peace."

My brother's birthday would have been on Easter Sunday that year and he would have turned 22. It impressed me how large the number of people who showed up to his funeral. I think people who didn't even know us had come to share our sorrow. The entire church was full to "standing room only" and waves of people flowed through the doors at the front of the church and out onto the street. Our brother's death was very traumatic for me, and after he was gone, I longed to see him again, even if in a dream. At his burial, the priest brought tears to everyone's eyes when he pointed out that Easter Sunday, the day of victory when Jesus overcame death and was raised to heaven, alive, to remain forever with God, was the day that my brother was born. Was it not a wonderful message from God that my mother had given my brother the middle name "Victor"? On the day he was killed, he also was victorious over death and was forever with the "Father".

Several months later, I did have two dreams of my brother. In one, he showed me a piece of heaven. In the other, he was come to tell me in the face of a natural disaster that I could not save all of my remaining family members from their doom as I had been trying to do. He said that I had done what I could do and that the message had been given to them, it was their choice to ignore me, and that now it was time for me to seek my own safety. His appearance was that of a young boy and his face and being beamed with an expression of happiness, ecstatic pleasure in something, and phenomenal peace that is indescribable. I awoke wondering why I had dreamt of him at that age, and not at the young adult age of 21 which was my last remembrance of him.

Life went on, though never as before. After a third year of teaching and being the sole support of my new family, my husband decided he wanted to become a lawyer. His school of choice required that we move some 3,000 miles away from both our families to the state of California. Teachers in America though termed "professionals" do not get professional status really, and the pay really proves it. I could not support us on a teacher's salary. Plus, in California, in order to be able to teach anything (even if I have credentials everywhere else), one must take a test called the California Basic Educational Standardized Test (or CBEST for short). We moved to California in June of 1986 and the next CBEST exam was not to be given until August, so after two weeks of hitting the pavement (looking for a job) I took what seemed to be the only thing available, an interim job as a legal secretary trainee. I made more money doing this than I ever made as a teacher, and I didn't have to bring any work home with me. Not only that, but if I worked overtime, I got paid for it, too! Consequently, I never went back to teaching.

Once I was gainfully employed again, my husband quit his temporary job and again left it up to me to support us while he went to law school. In two year's time at my job, I was promoted to a supervisor. My home life on the other hand was not so positively progressive. I began to be treated as a battered and abused wife and almost never did we attend church except perhaps once or twice a year. In 1990 I became pregnant (finally). I was at high risk of losing the babies (I was carrying twins). Also, I had the kind of "morning sickness" that was constant -- 24 hours a day, for the entire pregnancy -- and so I had to quit work. By this time my husband had graduated from law school, a place which in my mind was the very opposite of good standing or law abiding citizenship. To my horror, his companions and friends spent most of their time indulging in drinking and using drugs. Even at the end of their exams, they could be seen walking from the room and being handed champagne and marijuana joints.

Six years after we had been married, and having had to quit work because of the pregnancy, my husband and I agreed that I should stay home to raise the twins. After this the domestic violence and abuse would escalate, despite my constant pleas to God for help, and despite many varied attempts to make the marriage work.

After several years of this abuse in my marriage and especially after one particular nightmarish event (my 9 month old babies and I almost lost our lives in a car accident the cause of which would have been the drunken and drugged out hands of my husband), I lost my connection to God and fell into a state of numbness. Somewhere in my intellect, I knew it was a miracle that we did not die, and that in fact we survived without a physical scratch. Mentally, we were harmed deeply. After this horrendous event, I found myself wishing that I could have that connection back, that sense of faith and love I once had for God. It is curious to me how I was able to know that there was a God, but on the other hand felt absolutely no connection. I didn't even perceive it as that He had abandoned me. Just that for some reason -- I could not contact Him, could not communicate, could not feel His presence. This was very depressing. If I prayed at all, it was a mechanical exercise of the breath and tongue to a God I was not even sure was there.

One day during my normal housecleaning, I picked up a newspaper and a loose sheet of advertising slipped out from between the pages. I bent down to pick it up, almost tossing it away without a thought, even before standing up again. But something made me stop and look at it. It was an advertisement for a rosary. In the Catholic faith, a rosary is a string of beads like the tasbeeh. It is symbolically a wreath of spiritual roses that you give to Mother Mary in remembrance of her devotion to God and to her son, Jesus. The string of beads is separated into 3 sections of 10 beads each, with a single bead between each section. 3 extra beads complete the string before the crucifix that hangs from the end. What you do with a rosary is to recite a mantra -- a similar prayer for each bead, revering Mary and her blessedness, her life as a model of one of the best of God's servants. On each of the single beads the "Lord's Prayer" is recited. So it goes as one bead is held, a prayer is said, and then you pass it on between your fingers. Old church teachings suggest that anyone who recites a full rosary nine days in a row with a special intention will have that intention granted. As long as the intention is made in earnest, it is said that Mary, as an intercessor with an extraordinary compassion and love for us, will never let our prayers go unanswered.

I looked at the picture of the rosary. It was just the rosary I had always wanted as a child. It was $15. It came with a prayer book, too. "That's a good deal", I thought, not considering anything but the material value of the plastic and metal construction of it, the cost of shipping and handling, and the cost of the materials and printing of the prayer book. Because I had always wanted that pretty rosary and because it was such a "deal", I mailed in my order for it. When it arrived a few weeks later, I tossed aside the prayer book and remembered that in the bottom of a drawer somewhere I had a more beautiful prayer book that my grandmother had given me when I was 6 years old, I think. I never could read the long words or understand anything if I could read them, so I had only looked at it often to admire the beautiful artwork. I remembered too that it had a section on how to recite the rosary and its spiritual meaning.

I wanted to give this a test. (Astaghfirallah! I'm sorry Lord for my mistake! Forgive me, please...) I knew I should never test God, but that I did. I decided to test the promise that an intention would be granted upon completion of a novena (nine days straight of reciting the rosary prayers). I could have asked that the abuse in my marriage would stop. Or that my husband would be able to stop using drugs or alcohol, or that his compulsions for involving himself in pornographic lifestyles would stop. I could have prayed for that connection to my God to appear again and that I would once again feel that wonderful feeling of being faithful, of being with my God.

Instead, I superstitiously went about a ritual out of simple boredom and curiosity and prayed that a good friend of the family would find a resolution to a complicated mess he had found himself in.

To recite the mantras, the prayers, was not all that was required. You see, the reason there are 3 sections of beads is to symbolize the three mysterious time periods of the life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph: The Joyful, the Sorrowful, and the Glorious (roughly, the birth, the death, and the resurrection and ascensions). Three days into the novena, our friend was blessed with miracles. I told him, a very non-religious person, about the rosary exercise I was going through, about my intentions for the resolutions of his problems. I think, whether he believed in miracles or not, his heart was unmistakably changed and he understood more of the spiritual phenomenon of life.

As for me, the miracle was just the spark I needed to continue to the end of the novena. Suddenly, miracles were happening for me, too, and my life was changing quickly from the inside out. I was on my 3rd novena, sitting quietly on my bed on a warm, sunny early summer day, at the noontime, when I began another recitation. On this particular day, I was unusually contemplative about the life of Jesus, Mary and Joseph in my meditation. I was contemplating the sorrowful mysteries of Christ when it occurred to me that Jesus was not God. He was a man, a man like no other man for sure, but he was a man. The difference was that he was blessed to have had more faith than any other man had. He was sent to earth as a messenger to show us that we, too, can have the glory of God if we would but believe, too. I thought God COULD have sent a "son", but He didn't. He didn't need to. I thought about what an extraordinary burden it would be for any man, even Jesus -- even if he WAS God -- to know each and every single sin and evil that each and every one of the men, women and children ever born to walk this earth had committed. And is committing. And would commit. How could anyone bear such a mental burden? We must all follow his example and stop our evil. This is his message and why he was sent to give it. He was a mercy from our Lord. And what a glorious loving mother Jesus had -- how pure and perfect she must have been to raise such an extraordinary man.

At that moment of extreme sorrow I was empathizing with, something unbelievable happened. Though I was awake, I had a moment of clear vision of things I cannot describe. I came to know some things, including that we cannot comprehend the Love of God. Other things I envisioned were awesome. I can remember the vision and wanted to tell everyone about it. I held back, not telling more than a few people, for fear of being considered crazy. But the vision forever changed my life, my viewpoint and perceptions of the world and the universe we live in. I was never again afraid of death, in fact, I look forward to that event. It was frustrating to me at times to know that even if I would not be thought of as crazy, there was no way I would ever be able describe the things I saw and came to KNOW.

Four more years of the worst abuse in my marriage passed before I finally broke free from my husband. Finally, I had to grapple with the laws of my religious upbringing. I thought, "I know that divorce is against God's law," and "Any good Catholic knows that it is against the church's laws to divorce." But I could not believe that God would want me to remain there and let myself, or more importantly, the kids, be subjected to this abuse - or worse! We could have been killed. As soon as I was able to get some financial freedom (another job) I separated from him. My first job back in the workforce was to go back as a sort of secretary/backup office manager/legal assistant at one of the branch offices of the law firm I had previously worked for. Since they were continually asking me to come back to work for them, that was the perfect opportunity to get back into the workforce. Unfortunately, my position was temporary (covering a long term maternity leave for the other secretarial supervisor) and when she returned, they only had a budget to offer me a much lesser paying job. I had to refuse, opting instead to find another job that would sustain us.

At that same time I had gotten involved in the internet from a computer my husband had previously set up at home and through an advertisement on the UseNET I found the company I presently work for. This was a job as an administrative assistant and although I had never had experience in any computer or software company before, I felt confident I could do this job. As I walked out of the interview something told me that this would be the job I would have next. I felt a sense of unusual certainty and so I was right. I got the job. I was offered enough salary that I could support the kids by myself. As it turned out, however, the salary I received though more than I had ever brought home before was not quite the salary promised. I therefore needed to depend again on the child support payments that my ex husband had been ordered by the court to provide. Unfortunately, his lifestyle and deteriorated attitudes cost him many jobs and if he happened to be keeping a job at any particular time, he did not always honor his obligations. How I survived is that I just ...did. Sometimes I wonder if there was some miracle happening because there were times I could remember looking at my checkbook and wondering how it was that there was still so much money there. I should have expended all that was there, yet I had a small reserve. I remembered my mother's voice often in my head saying "don't worry...everything will always work out for the best in the end" and "something will always come through."

It is true I do not spend extravagantly, though sometimes I get the wish I could splurge. I buy clothes from second hand stores (used clothing, etc.) and eat as cheaply as possible. I usually do not eat breakfast or lunch and that saves a lot of money. I don't indulge in going out to movies much, things like that. I just do without. My one luxury that I keep is my internet account, and that I justify by the information I have gained and the potential information I can gain or disseminate through using it.

Because of the complexity and severity of circumstances surrounding this man's abuse and personality, the official divorce date was a long time in coming. During the long period of separation, I happened to meet a fellow on the internet who I began to have long philosophical discussions with. He was from another country originally and I found it comforting to find that in his country children are raised as I was. After a month of chatting with him and finding that his beliefs were extremely similar to mine, he told me that he is a Muslim.

Here I was, 35 years old, and this was my first ever meeting an actual Muslim. All I knew was that cursory coverage of the subject of Islam in the World Religions classes and that the word Muslim was synonymous with "terrorist". Now I was certainly stuck with a mix of emotions! Fear mixed with that famous curiosity, plus admiration for what he was telling me he practices in his life. I had spoken to him just long enough to crave more knowledge. He gave me my first book of Islam, a textbook used in some theological schools. I was flattered that he felt my philosophical or spiritual understanding already had put me on a level of that matching the theology students there!

About the same time that I received the book, this brother had the opportunity to visit friends about 2 hours away from where I lived. I was able to visit with him in person, ask him tons of questions, and watch him in "real life" as he practiced his Islamic lifestyle. I watched him glow when he came back from his prayers. I basked in the peace that surrounded him and that he brought to the room where we stood talking. I found myself eagerly wishing I could experience the same peace. After he left, I got down to the business of reading that philosophy book and to my amazement I found I could not put the book down! There was MY philosophy written in those pages! But...I was also shocked and confused since it was not at all what I had been lead to believe was "Islam" or a "Muslim".

That book lead to another, to another, to another and another until finally I found myself trembling from a mixture of emotions. I wanted to say that this was my religion. I watched "The Messenger" (a movie forbidden in Hollywood starring Anthony Quinn about Islam and the Prophet Muhammad's life) and I cried. I read Islamic women's magazines and I cried. I read one passage from the Qu'ran and again, I cried. I trembled and I cried. Why? Because this was my religion and I was sure of it. It was what I knew in my heart was right. The glory and the beauty of it evoked that kind of feeling you get when you witness a miracle and have nothing to express your elation and joy over it except to cry those happy tears.

But I wasn't ready to commit myself, to profess openly, that I wanted to be a Muslim. Maybe I was 90% there, but there were still some fears that held me back, one of which was "What will happen to my soul if I denounce Jesus as God? I have always been taught that no one shall enter the kingdom of heaven but through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, Jesus the Son of God." I had not yet read the Qur'an.

I decided, too, that before I get into this any further, it was incumbent upon me to see just exactly how this religion was put into practice. The theory, the logic, the philosophies were all well and good -- but how is it actually practiced by real Muslims?? Maybe they really are terrorists and women beaters (oh yes, I had already seen the movie "Not Without My Daughter" -- AND read the book!)

I made the choice, based on a referral from our thoughtful brother who had done some investigating for me, to venture into a mosque. I cannot tell you how afraid I was. The building was old, a bit dilapidated, dark, and foreboding. I had been given the name of a woman there and had planned to meet her. On the phone she seemed sweet, but her broken English left us unable to talk much, so I had no idea what to expect or do when I got there.

I had been having a problem with throat infections and ear infections that winter, so I had taken to wearing the scarves on my head, partly to keep the San Francisco blustering foggy elements from my ears, and partly to try and participate in acting like a Muslim. I had read and been told by the brother that I would HAVE to wear the hijab if I did become a Muslim. The scarves saved me from the painful earaches and so I was wearing one when I entered the mosque for the first time.

Stepping through the doors, I tried to remember what I had read about which foot was supposed to be placed first. Right? Left? I couldn't remember and I hoped nobody would see me do it incorrectly. I had brought my children with me and together we hesitantly walked through the door, hand-in-hand. At first we saw no one. We quietly tiptoed down a hallway, looking for anything that would indicate where we should go. There were signs up on the walls, but they were all in a foreign script and language. Finally, just as I saw a sign that read (in English) "Prayer Rooms Upstairs", two men appeared from around a corner. They looked at me with what I thought were dark, frightening eyes and facial expressions. I was afraid that, my being a woman, maybe I wasn't supposed to be there. With a heavy accent, or in another language (I couldn't tell which), one of them addressed me. My eyes and face must certainly have shown my apprehension and confusion. I did not understand what he had just said. The other man told me that the women's bathroom was down the hall and the prayer rooms were upstairs.

I smiled, nodded and thanked him, then slowly ascended the stairs, still tightly holding on to the hands of my children. They whispered "where do we go Mom?" I said, "I'm not quite sure...let's just be very quiet and go up here to see what we can see!" It was apparent that the custom is to remove your shoes, which we did. We peaked around the edge of the open door and saw but a few individuals, men congregating in the front and the women behind them where there happened to be a line of cushioned benches along the back wall. This is where we sat. Everything that we observed was frightening at first because it was so absolutely foreign. But I came to notice that each and every person who entered the room had looked at me and smiled. Some nodded and repeated that phrase which the man downstairs had addressed me with ("Salaam Alaikum!").

Then a sister came through the door. I looked at her, she looked at me and immediately I just KNEW it was the woman I had spoken to on the phone. Still we could not communicate in a common spoken language, but instantaneously, there was sharing of a feeling of genuine love between us. Amazing! She kissed my cheeks and between herself and two other sisters, they managed to indicate to me that they were so happy to meet me, see me there, and invited me to stay and observe the prayers.

I was mesmerized (and continue to be so always) by what I came to know is the Azaan. As weeks passed, I fell in love. I fell in love with the Muslims whose actual biological family members I could not distinguish because all children were regarded the same and all the parents were truly like brothers and sisters in one huge family. At that time I was driving home from work to pick up the kids every Thursday night, try and feed them and then drive in the opposite direction again about 50 miles in the hopes of making it to the Thursday night du'a before it ended. This didn't always come out on schedule and, of course, never could I understand what was going on since I couldn't speak the language. But I knew one thing for certain: There was that peace I had seen from my first meeting with the Muslim brother, magnified, intensified at least 20 fold and I loved going to the mosque just to feel that peace and be in the midst of a community that was so family oriented AND which was obviously reverent towards their women! I thought, "I would be happy to marry any one of these men!" "this is the kind of man I want my son to grow up to be, and this is the type of spiritual, pious and happy woman I want my daughter to grow up to be."

I remember thinking..."DAMN!! Why have we been lied to all this time? WHY haven't we all been told about the good people, the true Muslims? why only the terrorists??"

On Friday nights and Saturday mornings, I began attending classes. On Friday nights, the classes were also in that foreign language which I could not hope to understand even a word, but the sisters did their best to try and translate for me what was being said. I am forever grateful and at the same time sad that they had to miss part of the learning while they were in the process of translating. I enjoyed the classes nevertheless, especially at the infrequent times when someone, usually a woman, would break into a full debate IN ENGLISH!

One night I arrived early and found inside the cabinets of the study room a library FULL of books of all sizes and in various languages. My attention was drawn to one particularly FAT book and as I pulled it from the shelf, I realized it was an English translation of the Qur'an! WOW! Great! I was so excited! I began reading the Qur'an during the Qur'an studies, since I couldn't understand what was being said anyway. I came to find out later that with my hijab (which includes my dress, my manner and my posture), I was being mistaken (I should say "taken") as a muslima, one born and raised! Once everyone realized that I was not just being quiet, but was an American who only spoke English, someone who was trying to learn about Islam, the classes began to be given as much as possible in English, too.

It was reading the Qur'an that finally gave me the final -- what should I call it? -- that final percentage of doubt removed. Here in the pages of the Qur'an were explanations of dreams I had had, the visions on rosary meditations, life events, thoughts, scientific things, miraculous things, etc. Once I had begun reading the Qur'an (I didn't have to read it all to know this), I was certain that it was an authentic Holy Book, divinely revealed. It was too complete, too sublime, too eloquent, too beautiful to have been from the hand or mind of man without having come first from the only One who could know all this -- and more. Imagine my reaction when, over the weeks of classes I attended and after perpetual tearful trembling (choked back and hidden from the rest of the brothers and sisters there), I came to read the passage about how the believers will read the Qur'an and tremble or cry and know that it is the truth.

I knew it was the truth. I knew I had no choice but to sincerely and openly announce that I knew it was the truth. There were clear messages, clear understandings between me and my God that this is where I belonged. I had a dream one night following that I was in a room full of brothers and sisters, the brothers on one side, the sisters on another. I was looking at all the men and from behind me someone put their hands on my cheeks. It was an old woman who, with a sparkle in her eyes and a jovial expression in her voice said to me as she turned my head away "You will be very happy in this way, you'll see!"

The next time I went to the mosque, I asked one of the sisters what was involved in converting to Islam. Were there special classes for a specified amount of time I would have to complete? (This is so for Catholicism...I automatically thought it would be so for Islam, or any other religion for that matter). Was there some special ceremony?

I was told that all I needed to do was have it sincerely in my heart and say in front of at least two other practicing and sincere Muslims that "I believe there is no God but God and Muhammad was his messenger". I could even say it in English if I wanted to. I wondered when and where I should do this. Up to this point, the classes and prayer meetings had consisted of perhaps no more than 10 or 15 people. One of the sisters (my "special" sister) went to the Imam and told him that I was interested in converting. They spoke to each other in their language, occasionally smiling at me. When my sister translated for me, she also told me that she would be going away for a few months, back home to her country, but that the next day there was going to be a special event at the mosque and that all had agreed that would be a good time to take my shehadah.

I was so relieved and felt so light! The following night, much to my surprise, the mosque was literally filled to the brim with people. It was the eve of Ashura and maybe 1500 or 2000 Muslims had come in from all over California to commemorate that day, that battle, which was so important for the revival of Islam in the world. What a perfect night to take shehadah! I stood there and read in Arabic from a tiny piece of paper I held between my fingers "Ashadu an la illaha Ilallah; ashahdu an Muhammadun Rasululah." I had not heard the actual pronunciation of it, so I was unsure if I had recited it correctly. When I looked up, I saw that everyone was crying. The moderator for the evening was choking back tears as well, and asked that all the sisters come to the front, to the stage where I stood, and welcome me to the family of Islam.

All I remember at that point was a sea of women, crying, smiling, kissing me, hugging me, rocking me back and forth, telling me things in their language that I couldn't understand. I was overwhelmed and it was 45 minutes or more before the last sister came up to express her joy and extend the warmth of her heart. I remember the feeling this way: Imagine being in a room with 2000 of your favorite grandmother. One old woman took my face in her hands, kissed my cheeks and through tears of joy and broken English said, "You will be so happy!"

And I am...

Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatul-l-lahi wa barakatuhu,


Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Tue Jun 03, 2003 5:21 pm


Very interesting... :) :)

Testimony of Abdullah Reda

I was raised in a Roman Catholic family in Northern Virginia. I can remember very clearly going to Catholic school, learning about the faith and receiving the sacraments of communion, confession and confirmation.

At the time, some 30 years ago, it all seemed very spiritual and holy, and I thought I was somehow fortunate, especially receiving my first communion. In the Catholic religion, we were taught that the communion host is the actual body and blood of Jesus Christ. When I took that first communion host in my mouth and swallowed, I thought, “I have Jesus in my stomach, and I have to be very good and not commit any sins.”

As I got older, I could feel myself drifting away from Catholicism and any religious belief in general. I was still attending Mass every Sunday, but it was a burden to go and give even one hour a week.

After I left the church, I had no faith at all and started to form my own opinions and theories about God and world religions. One theory was that all religions are an extension of one religion and that if you are a good person, i.e. do not physically hurt or kill anyone, you can go to heaven. I think it’s a common belief that most people have because it gives them comfort. It gave me comfort when I was drinking, taking drugs, womanizing and giving my parents heartache.

All these liberal and radical thoughts started taking their toll on me. I was asking myself difficult questions that I could not answer. I wanted to know the reason for my existence. Why was I born? And what is my destiny?

While I was having these thoughts, I was a photo journalist for a weekly newspaper. One day I received an assignment to cover the Muslim holiday after Ramadan, the holy month of fasting.

When I got to the location, the first thing that took place was the sermon, then the prayers, followed by the festival. As I looked out at the thousands of Muslims, the first thing that struck me was the diversity of the crowd. Black, brown, white, Arabs, Americans, Pakistanis, Indonesians, people from all over the world. I never saw anything like this in any church I attended nor heard of any church like it in America.

Listening to the sermon I thought, “This is what I’ve been looking for all my life.” After the prayer, I asked someone how one becomes a Muslim. This person grabbed my hand and introduced me to someone who teaches Islam to non-Muslims. I attended two weeks of classes.

On March 17, 1995, believing without question that this is the only true religion from the one true God, I accepted Islam.

Islam is much more than a religion; it is a way of life. There is no such thing as keeping religious life separate from business or personal life, because Islam permeates all aspects of life. One of the beautiful things about Islam is that you stay in contact with God all day long. Five daily prayers keep you coming back to the One who sustains and provides.

In Islam, we are encouraged to ask questions and learn about our faith. The more I learn, the more this religion makes sense. For example, Islam teaches that all the prophets, starting with Adam, to Noah, Abraham, Moses, Jesus and the seal of the prophets, Muhammad, peace be upon them, were all Muslim. When you understand that the word “Muslim” means one who submits to God, you can see how the statement about the prophets is true.

And I finally found the answer to the age-old question of the meaning of life and that recurring question, the meaning of my life. The answer is simple: to worship God. Islam has changed my life 180 degrees.

I finally feel that I have reached my true destiny, and I’m trying to live life as God intended which is for humans to achieve their potential as spiritual beings.
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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mahalnya harga hidayah tuhan...

Postby kembara on Mon Jul 07, 2003 4:10 pm


I find the articles on Muslim Conversions stories very interesting, inspiring and very enlightening!

As a muslim born and bred, I am sad to say that I face very much the problems, confusions and questions posed by the non-Muslims about the true meaning of life- maybe its because I never understood the true meaning of Islam Only through the various hardship I faced, I started to think about the religion that I am in and started to learn more about Islam. Unfortunately, somewhere along the way of discovery, I became more confused and it seems that I gave in to lifes turbulances making me lose hope and reducing my faith. However, reading the above articles gave me some ray of hope and Maybe I too should re-start on my quest to find the truth about Islam and to eventually be happy and proud to practice Islam and follow Allah's rulings - that was my original intention when I started my quest.. . I hope that Allah will guide me and introduce me to sisters who can really help me out of my confusions and introduce to me the real meaning of Islam and how to be a true Muslim.

ps- may I know where you got the muslim convert stories from?
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Postby fikrah_islami on Tue Jul 08, 2003 6:25 pm

assalamu'alaikum... :)

kembara.., lama mengembara. Lama tak nampak nick
anta nie.

Link tu ada kat atas tu.., tak perasan yea..

Yup.., ana tak nafikan terlalu ramai muslims dewasa inie
namun yang benar2 berquality hanyalah segelintir..
Rasulullah SAW gembira dengan dengan ramainya ummat
Baginda.. namun Baginda jua bersabda manusia2 di akhir
zaman ibarat buih2 di lautan...

Teruskan mencari hidayah... ana pun dalam process refresh
Iman.., IMAN perlu dibajai slalu seperti pokok juga..

Allah SWT jua Yang Lebih Tahu... :)

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Jul 10, 2003 7:36 pm

:) Dengan nama ALLAH SWT Yang Maha Menciptakan... :)

One more story i have read.., very nice :)

Testimony of Abdul-Aziz (Formerly Jermaine Boddy)

He was born Jermaine Boddy and was raised in Charleston, West Virginia, United States, as a Baptist Christian as were his parents and their parents and so on and so forth. He narrates how in the letter below how he converted to Islam:

As a youth I attended Church and Sunday School regularly until my adolescent years when girls and running around suddenly became more important to me. I consider myself as "sinful" when I was on the street, but I was always conscious of Allah, or I may say God in those days and used to ask forgiveness on occasions for my sinful deeds in vain by the way I had been taught, "in the name of Jesus", may Allah forgive me. I continued on in my sinful ways despite a number of events in my life that were very life threatening such as drugs, being shot in the head, loss of jobs, and family and friends dying. Only after my incarceration did I begin to seek refuge in Allah and I was "saved" while incarcerated in the county jail. Even then as I faithfully read my Bible and prayed every night before I went to bed, there were still some doubts in my mind as far as the Christian faith was concerned. I continued to try to live my life as Christian when I came to prison but eventually went back to my old ways of my lower self. Again after several years of constantly staying in and out of trouble worrying about worldly matters and confronting frustration I began going to Church again but only half–heartedly. I really enjoyed the singing and also the eloquent speech of the preacher Reverend Hightower but there were always unanswered questions which I still cannot understand. The more I think about it the more outrageous it sounds. "Jesus died on the cross for the whole world’s sins". I seek Allah’s forgiveness.

Even though I was still confused, I held on to Christianity and started to seek knowledge elsewhere. I had been introduced to Al-Islam briefly while on the streets by a friend whom was not very knowledgeable or righteous but yet I somehow was drawn to this religion back then. I can remember telling my mother that I wanted to be a Muslim after hearing the Ayas of the Holy Qur’an. She dismissed it by saying I did not know what I was talking about which I did not but somehow I knew that this was the True religion.

I had attended the Jumu’ah on a couple occasions with a brother named Islam and then again with one of my home boys but never really understood what was going on because I was not paying any attention. Sometime later, I then asked a friend, Shahid Qazi to place my name on the Callout to attend Jumu’ah but for the wrong reasons. My intentions were to just get out of going to work in the afternoons on Fridays. Actually I began to stay and listen to the Khutabah and after a short while some of my previous questions were starting in to be answered. I would continue to attend reverend Hightower’s services on Thursday nights and then go to Jumu’ah on Fridays for at least nine months and over the last part of those nine months I began to ask Allah to show me the straight path because although I still proclaimed to be a Christian I knew that Islam was a true religion. Slowly Islam touched my heart and I stopped attending the Christian services there shortly after I took my Shahadah (Masha-Allah) and my life changed drastically ever since!

Brother ‘Abdul Aziz is a young man of 28 years of age from West Virginia and has learned his Salat, Kalima, Du’a Qunut, couple of other Du’as, and many Surahs along with all of the Arabic alphabet.

Brother ‘Abdul Aziz took his Shahadah just seven months back but has learned a lot and also is serving the Sunni Muslim Community as an Amir of Da’awah and Assistant Security. May Allah keep him strong. Ameen

Allah SWT jua Yang Lebih Tahu...
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Jul 10, 2003 8:17 pm

SubhanALlah!!! Hidayah tu Allah SWT yang beri...

Testimony of Abu Cuyler

I bear witness that there is no god but Allah, and Muhammad is his messenger. Peace and blessings be upon you all. My story of how I reverted back to Islam is quite interesting. I am actually 24 years old now, going on 25. I took my Shahada 8 years ago when I was a Junior/Senior in High School('91) Ma sha'allah.

My parents are both Christians, my Father is a practicing Baptist, and my Mother is a non-practicing Catholic. My Mother wanted my brother and I to be raised so that we can make our own choice when it comes to spirituality. My Father wanted us to be raised Baptist. However, my parents divorced when I was very young(age 3 or so), and we lived with our Mother. I can remember going to church with my Father, but all I remember from it was trying to stay awake. It was boring and uninteresting to me, to the point where I disliked going. The last time I went to church with my father was around age 12. As I grew a little older and gained more knowledge about my people's history in this country and how religion has played a part, I began to not only dislike Christianity, but despise it. With El Hajj Malik Shabazz being a great mentor and role model for me, I began to question why it is that our people are still in the same conditions when we are known for being a very spiritual people. My conclusion was that the religion of Christianity(As being practiced in recent history and present) did not work. Somehow God was not listening to Christians. I also began to associate Christianity as being a slaves religion. Back in 1990 I stopped eating pork because I felt a force coming towards me, and I also knew it was not fit for anyone to eat. I didn't know for sure what was happening but during the next year after I stopped eating swine, I began to see signs of Islam. Being a rap video fan, various rap videos by people in the Nation of Islam started appearing. I saw them as signs. Back then I did not know the difference between the Nation of Islam and Islam. They were all the same to me. Also, my cousin had become Muslim, and she had given me several pamphlets on the life of the Prophet(S.A.W.), and Islam Alhamdullilah. She wore hijab and basically was my resource for any questions, concerns, or events going on. She was the only Muslim I knew or had ever been in contact with (outside of Farrakhan video tapes), and provided a great example of a Muslim through her actions.

One of my other concerns with Christianity was why I had to pray through a Middle-Man? Why did I have to pray to a man? I believe in God Almighty. I also didn't know how to pray to God. Islam provided answers to all of my questions on how to be a worthy servant of God. Islam taught me how to live, and how to pray. My first visit to the Masjid was very powerful. Islam gave me a since of community and peace immediately although I hadn't accepted it yet. It was more realistic to me to pray to God everyday, rather than just thinking about God on Sunday. A way of life, as opposed to just a religion. Those brothers and sisters treated me like family. I took my Shahada on my second visit.

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby 515O on Sat Jul 12, 2003 8:23 am

fikrah_islami wrote:assalamu'alaikum...

[color=darkblue]Assalamualaikum buat kepada Pecinta Kebenaran!

Sesiapa sahaja boleh mnegaku dia di dalam kebenaran,
namun untuk mendapatkan kebenaran hakiki perlulah ada
panduan dan pimpinan daripada ALLAH. Lebih lebih lagi
di akhir zaman ini lagilah sulit, dengan terdapat
pelbagai fahaman dan isme yang masing-masing
menyatakan dia benar dan patut diikuti.

Tidak semua orang yang mencari kebenaran memperoleh
kebenaran. Sedikit sahaja orang yang bertemu dengan
kebenaran. Lantaran itulah ALLAh mengingatkan kita
"Sedikit sekali hamba-hamba Aku yang bersyukur."

Junjungan Mulia ada bersabda yang mafhumnya lebih
kurang: "Di akhirzaman, umatku akan berpecah kepada 73
golongan. Semuanya akan masuk nerka kecuali satu yang
mengikut sunnah aku dan mengikut sunnah Khulafa'
ar-rasyidin(sahabat-sahabat)[ahli Sunnah wal Jamaah]."

Kaedah Mencari Kebenaran

Dalam manusia mencari kebenaran, berbagai-bagai jalan
dtempoh orang. Antaranya ialah;

1. Mengikut orang ramai
2. Mengikut Orang besar
3. Mengikut Ulama-ulama'
4. Mengikut Penguasa negara


W'salam. Boleh saya tambah satu lagi? Iaitu mengikut para auliya yang BENAR, InsyaAllah.

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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed Aug 13, 2003 10:09 pm

assalamu'alaikum... :)

Syukran 5150.....

Kawan2 semua...syukur kepada ALlah SWT..., sekarang nie
dah ramai manusia yang sesat dalam hidup mereka kembali
ke pangkal jalan...ALhamdulillah...

Ana dapat e-mail from my friend semalam, terharu ana
...kumpulan Too Phat telah kembali kepada fitrah InsyaALlah.
Cuba lah baca lirik lagu dieorang nie...insafff

Song: Alhamdulillah
Album: 360
Artist: Too Phat

Ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
Hayya nab'idil karaha (Let’s avoid the hated and hatred)
Syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
Ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

Verse 1
I feel the heat
From these 4 candles burning
As I'm staring out the window
In solitude I look at life
From different angles
Thoughts strangled
My mind is suffocatin'
In this truth quest
A greed law
That we abide by is ruthless
Enough will never satisfy
Until we toothless
Filthy millionaires
Are gamblin' until they muflis
A sad fact of life
But mankind approved this
I gotta call Him
Sajadah is where the booth is
I'll make it clear that
I ain't even tryin' to preach here
By sharing thoughts I hope
To find a little peace here
I thank Allah for blessing me
To be creative
So here's a diss for me
For bein' unappreciative
Wanted a perfect life
Yeah smile then die old
Fame, money, women
Phat cribos and white gold
Drive my own Beemer
Before I hit two six
A straight pink bitin' toothpicks
Who walk around town wit' two chicks
And doin' new hits to woo tricks....
Now that's wrong
Pleasure from partyin'
And bull ish don't last long
A lotta yuppies sneakin'
Cars out when dad's gone
Crackin' bottles in clubs
Frontin' designer fashion
But I ain't about
To trade happiness for a Jag
So stop smilin' with your ragtop down
Cause for a fact
I don't care about your money
Or how slick your car
'Cause no matter how rich and big you are
It's still Allahuakbar...

Ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
Hayya nab'idil karaha (Let’s avoid the hated and hatred)
Syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
Ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

Verse 2
I know that all this
Ain't the right thing
Partying, chasing moneys
And material things
Flying high
Think nobody gonna
Clip my wings
I'm lying to myself
Knowing that
I've been neglecting
As a healthy Muslim
Riches and loot
Ain't nothing
We frontin'
Diamonds and scrilla
But forget to say
Made my album a killer
Plan B
Now 2-3 droppin'
And I wish to
Ask for forgiveness
Your guidance
Protection and strength
For humbleness and faith
To make me a better man
Success in foreign lands
Never dreamt of that
I remember being 18
When we started Too Phat
Now let's go back
Three years before that
Sometimes I forget
Me and my parents
Took a trip with granddad
I remember '95
While performing Umrah
Made my wish in Mecca
Right in front the Kaabah
Dear God
You made it possible
When facing obstacles
Please let me do good
Before I pass on
In the hospital
And keep reciting
The Testimony of Faith
And find the right way
Out of this life's maze

Ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
Hayya nab'idil karaha (Let’s avoid the hated and hatred)
Syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
Ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

Verse 3
Ay yo…
Two candles go out
That's when
I feel the wind blow
I haven't met Fatim
For two years
Been livin' like I'm single
Evaluatin' all the friendships
The reason it's the tenth year
Is 'cause she's a patient chick
And as far as friends are concerned
Many I've had it all
From those who cried for my pain
To those who plotted my fall
I learned to differentiate
Fakes from the great
Mates from the snakes
Apes wanna beef
Hate's all it takes
For me to blow
A diss song for you
Not even worthy
As an album filler
So now it's smiles
And Alhamdulillah
Yeah, love me
Or hate me
This who I am
Look at the past at times
I wish that I was born again
So I can rectify mistakes
And my wrong doings
Attempts on minimizing my sins
Before my story ends
I ain't no Eddie Murphy
Tryin' to sound as a holy man
But if I tried to be a better person
Now I prolly can
Who am I to advise you
I ain't been the best
Of God's slaves
Just a poet writin'
What my thought says
A little house
A little car
A little sweet girl
Thank you Lord
I'll try to slow it down
On the cheap thrills
This song will prolly stir
A little controversy
At least I ain't be rappin'
Bout the stuff
As tho' I'm born in Jersey
Stage name is Malique
And lost name is Cairel
Mama told me
Stop complaining too much,
So I will...

Ult li albi bissaraha (I'm opening up my heart with honesty)
Hayya nab'idil karaha (Let’s avoid the hated and hatred)
Syakkireena a' kulli ni'ma (Let's remain thankful with what we have)
Ba' ideena anil fattana (Let's avoid all lies and sins)

ALlah SWT jua Yang Lebih Tahu...
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby kasturi_biru on Thu Aug 14, 2003 10:18 am

Wa'Alaikumsalam wrm...

Syukur alhamdulillah...

Mudah-mudahan dengan hidayah Allah Ta'ala akan lebih ramai manusia lagi kembali ke jalan yang benar...insya-Allah :)

Fikrah...bila baca lirik lagu ni..terasa insaf...Allahu Akbar...
Ana ni membaca lagu bukan menyanyi... :gelak: ish tak reti den nak nyanyi lagu tu

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Postby awang bin ali on Thu Aug 14, 2003 12:51 pm

Ikut nabi saw dan para sahabat ra..ulamak2, auliya'2 dan lain2 sebagai panduan/penasihat..bukan sebagai ikutan.
Cintailah sedara kamu, kasihlah sedara kamu..Brsatulah sebagai satu ummah. gembirakanlah Allah swt dan RasulNya saw.
awang bin ali
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Dec 04, 2003 8:58 pm

assalamu'alaikum... :)

Jom amik iktibar sama2... :) :) :)

Pengalaman Bertudung

From Hjh Noor Kumalasari:

1. e-mail:

2. Your profession:

Now ~ Home Manager, Before ~ Entertainer, Artiste, Singer, Actress & Model

3. A little bit of yr schooldays background:

Schooling in S'pore and then PJ, Happy Garden up to SPM (Commerce).

4. Do you cover full-time? Why/why not?

I cover all the time even when I am in the kitchen. This time is for real,I am not 'acting' any more. Its funny how one can be at peace just following Allah's instructions. You do not need to reason out why anymore.

5. How old were you when you decide to cover?

Forty. Life 'really' begins at 40.

6. What factors led to your decision to cover?

One hadith dhoif ~ that for every strain of hair I may have to suffer 60 years in hell. Even though I know it was hadith dhoif but it helps to motivate me. Of course the first information was Surah Annuur ayat 31 which my husband explained to me. Since it is kalimat Allah who are we to dispute. He said I have to set a target to close up someday. That day is up to me but he added " you better ask Allah to spare your life until that date."

That day that I chose was the day I returned from my Hajj in 1997. I was so grateful to Allah for allowing me to be in good health to go to umrah in 1994 and then Hajj that year when I had to leave behind my fourth child who was barely 6 months old. Things were happening fast for me, my father died in Mecca the previous year.

7. How did your family/friends/colleagues react?

Since I was rather fashionable and had always been known to people as an artiste who was brave to experience with new looks, nobody paid attention to the 'change'. Furthermore, we started not to like going out to functions that we used to attend before any more. Therefore not many were aware of the change in me. I shunned publicity. I had the glamour life once. That is enough. We feel that we do not have to do the same things over and over again. Sometimes people thought that it is because we just came back from umrah therefore we were 'excused' for looking like that.

8. Have you received positive/negative feedback?

Negative except for my husband. They assumed it must have been forced upon me by my husband. Far from it. The way my husband teaches me Islam, makes me love Allah more and more. If he had forced me to do something, I may still do it but the love may not be there.

It takes a few years for them not to raised questions : " You're not ho' ah?" I don't just wear tudung, I wear what I thought is acceptable by Allah. That is the cloth must be loose, the fabric dark coloured and thick (not see-through) so it end up with only one signature outfit ~ that is black jubah with a long black shawl wrapped around the head like an Arab lady, sometimes I add an arbaayah (black overcoat) over it. You have to be brave to be different. Even from before, ( in my heydays) my signature colour had always been black. So all this I do "kerana Allah" and I enjoyed it.

Dressed like this has a distinct advantage, I am 'mosque-ready' ~ wherever I am, when I hear the azan I will go to the nearest mosque and pray without having to bring telekong. It is so convenient, nowadays I keep my wudhu' all the time.

But there were some very sincere people who liked it very much, my fans came and hugged me when they see me in public. I would not have known that if I had not changed. One businessman told my husband that he was moved when he heard me on TV saying " luckily Allah did not take my life away when I was at my peak in my career".

Some celebrity friends asked me to doa so that they will change like me one day. Insyallah, not only I gave them my doa, it came with my tears as well for them. Not many people know these secret wishes. These celebrities who are deep down very nice people.

9. What kind of reaction have you received from the broader community- Muslims and non-Muslims?

There is no negative reaction from Non-Muslims because they respect our religion the same way we respect the sami who wears saffron robes searching for purity. Not so with all the Muslim sisters. Some ill-assumed that there is always a one-up-manship syndrome in everyone.
I do not look down at them. I just pity them and hoped that one day Allah will also give them hidayah and they can see for themselves what they are missing.

10. Do you feel that you are less accepted by the community than those women who do not cover?

No, I can go anywhere with it but maybe I am lucky because when they know its me, they give special considerations. It is the personality underneath the cover that reacts with people really.

11. Did you/do you ever feel pressure to cover? From whom?

Only from my own self. No pressure from outside. It's the other way around.

12. Did you/do you ever feel pressure not to cover? From whom?

Yes from Film Producers and sisters.

13. What kind of covering do you wear?
Always black jubah like Arab ladies.

14. How did you view covering before you decided to do it yourself?

Before I went to Mecca, I did not like it. The way it was worn by our ladies was so unattractive. I just want nothing to do with it. You have to feel good in what you are wearing, then only the self-esteem grows on you.

15. What have been taught about hijab from your family? School? Society?

None, not from school nor my family. I did not see anything wrong in what we were doing at all. Isn't that strange?

16. Do the women in your family cover? (if a mother, what do you teach your children about hijab?)

None before, now my mother and one on-and-off sister. Other sisters, phew,maa syaa Allah. In my own family, I am the only girl, alhamdulillah.

17. What does it feel to cover?

Humble and shy, both are good attributes in Islam.

18. What are the disadvantages/disadvantages of covering?

Nobody wants to give an acting contract unless I open the tudung "just in front of the camera". I was able to say no to that "kerana Allah".

19. Does wear hijab have any noticeable impact on your daily life at home/work/in broader environment, etc?

Yes it has become part of me, a second 'skin'. It goes hand in hand with wanting to purify my heart from all illnesses. I feel the Almighty is close to me from His responses and I do not want to lose Him again.

20. Do people comment on your hijab? What kind of things do they say?

They want to learn how to tie the shawl over the head without using pins. The young people says " You look good and fashionable ". The elders says" Alhamdulillah". Most Arabs thought I am one of them.

21. Do you receive special attention on the subway/streets?

Yes. They want my autographs.

22. Do you feel you are treated differently because you cover?

No. Except one instance whereby a Saudi man seemed to feel uncomfortable socially because my dressing keep reminding him that it is not right for him to be sitting in the same majlis with ajnabis. There were a few other ladies who were not wearing tudung and he was quite comfortable until I entered the majlis. So it proved that men tends to put on better akhlak when they are in the presence of ladies who wears tudung.

23. What does the hijab symbolize for you?

Purity ~ Lover of Allah.

24. What would you like people to think when they see you in hijab?

I hope they see a creation that belongs to Almighty.

25. What do you think they see?

Some see 'fanaticism'.

26. How do you about women who wear hijab? About women who do not wear hijab?

Since I used to be one of them, there is a lot of tolerance, furthermore, we must always wish them well instead of ill-judging them. Who knows what Allah has in store? I certainly do not want to nag at anybody, because if it does not come from within themselves it may not last.

27. Why do women cover more than men?

Can you compare apples with bananas ?

28. Some people think that the hijab is men's way of controlling women - their movements and their sexuality - what do you think of this claim?

On the contrary, there were many cases whereby the husband forbade their wives from wearing tudung. I pity these ladies who received On sexuality, the more something is covered the more curious it becomes. But men tends not to ogle at women who are covered because their action will embarrass us not because they don't want to know.

29. Does covering here mean that you are less free than your non 'covering' women friends?

If I am a 100 meters sprinter, maybe I may need to compete with the men. But I do no such thing. I feel free only when I can follow everything Allah ask me to do.

30. Fatima Mernissi ( Moroccan Feminist) argues the hijab means that women should not be outside much. What do you think of this claim?

During our prophet's time ladies were free to go out with permission of the husband. The fact that they had been asked to cover up implied that they are allowed to go out. Women can leave the house as long as there is a mahram accompanying her, when she goes to work without being accompanied by her mahram, she does not follow sunah. If she had sinned she must ask for forgiveness. Even men commit sins everyday. Orientalist likes to shade Islam such that it becomes unattractive to women. "If only they knew that only free and respectable women were asked to cover up as a trademark to differentiate them from the slaves ~ it is in fact an honour to be asked to cover up your body"

Hajjah Noor Kumalasari
(Columnist Section)

rujukan : another forum
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed Mar 03, 2004 11:06 am

BismilLaahirRahmaanirRahiim... :)

assalamu'alaikum warahmatulLah... :)

Lama tidak berkunjung ke sinie... :) Mencari Nur Hidayah...
Aku hanyalah seorang insan akhir zaman yang masih
mencari2 jalur cahaya..buatku mengharungi hidup inie...

Aku mungkin mempunyai kesedaran untuk mencari
kebenaran sejak aku di bangku sekolah rendah lagie...
namun, hanya kesedaran yang ada tanpa bimbingan...
ALLAH SWT, The Almigty God memberikan ujian demi
ujian.. membuatkanku suka berfikir.

Sehingga kinie...aku masih mencari2 cahaya itu...Yea, aku
telah menemuinya namun...aku lalai. Tidak tahan dengan
ujian duniawi dan kelemahan diri...

Memang mudah membina cita2...ingin mencari MardhatilLah!!!
Usaha yang diperlukan tidak mudah dengan hanya bercita2...
apa yang penting dalam mengejar cita2 adalah motivasi...
setiap hari...saban waktu perlu memotivasikan diri...

Mencari 'ilmu walau di mana ia berada...mencari kawan2 yang
cintakan kebenaran...semua itu melorongkan jalan mencapai
cita2 yang luhur itu... Berkawan dengan orang awam...tiada
salahnya... namun, apa yang kurasai adalah jauh dari-NYA..
Bukan bermakna mereka tiada kebaikannya...aku sebenarnya
yang lemah... aku sepatutnya menarik mereka agar cintakan
kebenaran... yea, aku lemah!!! Jika aku mengikut rentak
mereka, aku turut hanyut! Oh ALLAH...ku sesal dengan diri
inie...tidak mampu menjadi hambaMU yang setia...

Aku hanyalah seorang manusia akhir zaman..mencari
kebenaran adalah tugasku... Aku akan berjuang...!!! Di bulan
Muharram yang mulia inie..ku berjanji untuk menyambung
perjuangan yang tergendala...meyambung perjuangan suci
RasululLah SAW menyebarkan kalimah LAILAHAILLALLAH!!!
Hijrahmu Ya RasululLah menjadi sumber inspirasi buatku
menghijrahkan diri menuruti ajaranmu.. Ya ALLAH...
permudahkanlah jalan hambaMU yang dhaif inie meniti jalan
yang ENGKAU restui... :nangis: :nangis: :nangis:

Tanpa bantuan-MU..aku tidak mampu walau untuk mengelipkan
kelopak mataku inie...tanpa ni'matMU aku tidak mampu walau
untuk mengetuk sebutir huruf di keyboard inie...
Ya ALLAH...betapa lemah dan kerdilnya aku di sisi-MU
Yang Maha Sempurna... ku pohon ampun dari-MU..ku pohon
bantuan-MU.. maafkanlah aku... :nangis:
Ku ingin syahid di jalan-MU... :nangis: Jadikanlah aku termasuk
di kalangan hamba2-MU yang diberi ampun dan yang berjuang
di jalan Yang Lurus itu... :nangis:

Sekadar di sinie dahulu bicaraku...insan akhir zaman yang
serba-serbinya tidak sempurna...

-DIA sumber kekuatan diriku...-
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby Jantan Tulen on Fri Mar 05, 2004 12:35 pm


Yg kerdil kita kena Tautkan agar menjadi Besar
Yg lemah kita satukan agar jadi kukuh
yg kurang kita sama-sama tambahkan agar melimpah ruah.



sebaenarnya kita adalah musafir di alam gersang.....
Sekadar tempat permainanNYA

ada ketika maju, ade ketika diam ade ketika kena telan namun jarang
yg bertukar BIDAK kepada PERMAISURI.

Jantan Tulen
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Postby Jantan Tulen on Fri Mar 05, 2004 12:39 pm

itu ..baru satu pusingan permainanNYA..bagaimana

telah di takdirkan setiap manusia perlu melalui 1000 PermainanNYA

pasti peratus bidak akan jadi permai suri kecil.......namun permasuri

Sejati tu yg dapat memastikan RAJANYA TAK BOLEH DI TAWAN LAGHI..

insaalah....mudah-mudahan kita berjaya sepertimana orang-org yg dah mendahului seperti RUMI...

onak dan ranjau banyak laghi
Jantan Tulen
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:03 pm

assalamu'alaikum warahmatulLah... :)

Sukar sedikit hendak difahami bahasa saudara tu.. apa itu
bidak, siapa itu Rumi... Mengapa tidak berkata dengan bahasa
yang mudah difahami semua orang...kerana Islam itu mudah
difahami... :) sebagaimana yang diajarkan oleh RasululLah SAW
..manusia yang paling mulia di sisi ALLAH SWT.. :) :D

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Mar 11, 2004 5:23 pm

asslamu'alaikum warahmatulLah... :)

ALhamdulilLah..dengan izin ALLAH SWT dapat ana kembali
ke sinie...

Nie kisah hidup saudara kita memeluk Islam..mendapat hidayah..
..yang pasti HIDAYAH itu mahal harganya... :) Dan berhati2
dengan dakyah penganut agama lain...begitu licik..

buat renungan bersama...

Kisah Farhan (Kisah Perjalanannya Masuk Islam)

Nama saya Farhan Bin Abdullah. Nama asal saya sewaktu beragama Kristian ialah Johanis. Saya dilahirkan dibumi Sabah dalam keluarga Kristian. Bapa saya seorang ketua Paderi yang menjaga 15 buah gereja
disatu kawasan di Sabah.

Saya dilatih oleh bapa saya untuk menjadi seorang paderi. Sejak mula PBS bawah Datuk Joseph Pairin Kitinggan usaha kami mendapat sokongan penuh kerajaan negeri.

Kumpulan saya masuk ke kampong dalam berbagai program. Selalunya program khidmat masyarakat. Pihak gereja selalunya membekalkan wang tunai sekitar RM50,000/=. Berbagai aturcara dibuat untuk membantu orang
kampong. Kami ziarah rumah kerumah. tanya masalah mereka dan bantu
mereka. berbagai masalah diluahkan. Ada kami bantu dengan duit secara
spontan. Ada kami hantar keperluan harian,pakaian dan buku sekolah dsb.

Dengan cara ini kami mendekati mereka. Hasilnya dengan beberapa kali kunjungan susulan,kami berjaya mengkristiankan mereka. Paling berbaloi kami mengkristian remaja Islam,tambah berbaloi dari kalangan intelek. Hasilnya kami dapat RM3,000/= setiap seorang Islam yang dimurtadkan. Bayangkan pendapatan saya ketika masih dialam persekolahan.

Sewaktu Tingkatan 3 saya dan beberapa rakan mengambil m/pelajaran Agama Islam yang boleh dipilih dengan lukisan(betapa hinanya m/pelajaran ini setanding dengan lukisan). Saya mendapat A-3. Sewaktu tingkatan 4 saya belajar di sekolah asrama penuh. Saya terus ambil pelajaran Agama Islam.

Tujuan saya untuk tahu mengenai Islam dan memmudahkan saya menyebarkan agama kristian. Saya mempunyai beberapa soalan yang saya kira tidak mampu dihuraikan oleh orang Islam. Pada suatu hari sewaktu tingkatan Enam bawah, saya bersemuka dengan Ustaz yang mengajar saya(saya panggil cikgu). "cikgu saya ada beberapa
soalan, tapi saya rasa tak sesuai dikelas ini, bolehke saya kerumah cikgu..."

Ustaz itu bersedia. Lalu saya bersama beberapa rakan kerumah ustaz itu. Saya katakan "cikgu saya mahu berdialog secara ilmiah, bukan atas nama Islam,agama cikgu dan bukan atas nama Kristian,agama saya". saya
kemukakan beberapa persoalan, antaranya;-

- Mengapa orang Islam sembah kaabah
-Sebenarnya semua agama sama sahaja. Nasrani, Yahudi, Kristian dan Islam adalah agama langit.
-Mengapa diakhir zaman, Nabi Isa akan turun bersama Imam Mahadi membebaskan kezaliman dan kekacauan dan bukannya Nabi Muhammad.
-Mengapa dalam sejarah dan hingga kini orang Islam suka peperangan.
-Injil sekarang dikatakan diseleweng.Kalau begitu mana yang asalnya.

Yang menghairankan ustaz ini dapat menjawab pertanyaan saya dan kawan-kawan dengan begitu ilmiah. Saya dan kawan-kawan mati akal. Kemudian saya dibebani dengan 3 persoalan yang tidak mampu saya menjawab secara tepat.

- Apakah boleh manusia(paderi) mengampunkan dosa manusia lain.
- Persoalan ketuhanan 3 dalam 1 dan 1 dalam 3
- konsep ketuhanan Jesus.

Saya mengatur pertemuan ustaz saya dengan beberapa orang paderi, kawan-kawan bapa saya. tetapi mereka enggan. Lalu saya bawa ustaz itu kerumah saya dan bertemu bapa saya seorang ketua paderi. Ternyata bapa saya juga tidak mampu menjawab persoalan yang dibawa oleh ustaz itu. Sebaik ustaz itu pulang, bapa saya memarahi saya kerana bawa 'orang malaya' datang kerumah.

Sejak itu beberapa kali saya tidur rumah ustaz itu. Disamping mengulangkaji saya gemar berdialog dengan ustaz itu. saya memerhatikan kehidupan ustaz tu,saya mengagumi cara hidupnya.

Suatu malam saya bermimpi didatangi 3 orang berjubah. Seorang berjubah hitam membawa salib. Seorang berjubah putih membawa bendera bertulisan jawi. Dan seorang berjubah hijau yang meminta saya membuat pilihan. Yang berjubah hitam dan berjubah putih saling menarik saya mengikuti mereka. Saya meronta-ronta.

Disamping itu saya dapati yang berjubah hitam semakin tengelam dan yang berjubah putih semakin tinggi. Sedang saya meronta-ronta, saya terjaga. Saya mendengar suara azan dan ustaz tadi berada ditepi saya
dan berkata," mengapa Johanis....awak mengigau...."

Saya pegang tangan ustaz itu, saya katakan,"Cikgu Islamkan saya.........".Ustaz itu minta saya bersabar untuk dia uruskan dengan pihak tertentu. Tidak lama selepas itu saya pun di Islamkan oleh Ustaz itu.

Selesai penIslaman saya, saya pulang ke rumah. Sampai di rumah, saya lihat pakaian saya bertabur diluar rumah. Rupanya bapa saya telah tahu. Sebaik melihat saya, bapa bergegas masuk dan keluar semula dengan
mengacu senapang ke arah saya. Tiba-tiba emak menerkam dan peluru senapang meletup keatas.

Saya segera meninggalkan rumah sehelai sepinggang. Tinggalkan keluarga saya. Tinggalkan sekolah. Saya bersembunyi sekejap di rumah ustaz sebelum saya dibawa oleh ustaz pulang ke semenanjung sebaik habis kontrak mengajar di Sabah.

Saya diserahkan kepada PERKIM di Kuala Lumpur. Secara kebetulan rakan saya Nazri,vokalis kumpulan Raihan juga memeluk Islam, tetapi mengikuti kumpulan Ar-Arqam. 2 lagu dalam album pertama kumpulan Raihan adalah saduran lagu koir yang kami nyanyikan dalam
gereja sewaktu di Sabah dulu..

6 tahun saya di PERKIM. Saya masuk pula Maahad Tahfiz. Alhamdulillah..
saya dapat sijil Al-Hafiz selepas 3 tahun. Kemudian saya bekerja dengan
Jabatan Agama Islam. Saya banyak masuk kawasan di Negeri Sembilan,
Melaka dan Pahang. Tak sampai setahun saya letak jawatan.Saya sedih
kerana ramai pendakwah ini nak berdakwahpun merungut duit over time.
Saya rasa tiada keiklasan. Biarlah saya jadi pendakwah bebas. Saya ingin
membilas dosa lalu. Saya telah ramai memurtadkan orang..kini saya mahu
berjuang untuk mengIslamkan seramai mungkin dengan kualiti bukan kuantiti saja.

Berbalik kisah keluarga saya. Selepas meninggalkan rumah dan belajar di PERKIM saya selalu telefon ayah, emak dan adik beradik saya. Saya katakan jangan bencikan saya. Saya sayang ayah.saya sayang emak.saya
sayang adik beradik saya. Ayah dan emak tetap ayah emak dunia dan akhirat.

Walaupun ayah menyambut dingin suara saya, saya hantarkan buku-buku yang sesuai menerangkan tentang Islam. 7 tahun saya telefon. 7 tahun saya hantar surat dan buku-buku. saya menangis kerana rindukan ayah,emak dan adik beradik. Akhirnya, sewaktu saya di Maahad
Tahfiz, bagaikan halilintar saya mendapat berita........ Ayah saya menganut Agama Islam.

Allah saja yang tahu perasaan saya ketika itu. Saya menangis dan menangis. Saya ambil wuduk dan sujud syukur. Air mata saya menjadi terlalu murah....saya terus menangis...saya pejamkan mata...saya bayangkan ayah dihadapan...saya peluk erat tubuh ayah dan kami
menangis bersama........Ya Allah betapa agungnya kekuasaanMu....

Peristiwa yang saya alami sewaktu memeluk Islam turut dirasai oleh ayah saya. Dia dihalau dari rumah yang diberi oleh pihak gereja.

Kini saya pendakwah bebas. Saya sedih melihat umat Islam hari ini berpecah.

Kita berpecah kerana kita meninggalkan Quran dan sunnah Rasul. Kita ambil sebahagian dan kita tinggalkan sebahagian.

Kita ambil contah pelaksanaan hukum Hudud dan Qisas. Mengapa kita cari jalan nak menentang pelaksanaanya. Sepatutnya kita cari jalan supaya dapat dilaksanakan. Inilah sikap umat Islam. Saya pernah berdialog dengan beberapa orang pensyarah universiti tentang isu Hudud & Qisas. Dia boleh sergah saya,"You apa tahu...Islampun baru setahun jagung....."

Saya sedih dengan sergahan pensyarah itu. Kalau ini sikap pendakwah saya tak akan masuk Islam. Tapi saya pilih Islam kerana saya tahu Apa itu Islam. kerana itu saya ajak menghayati Islam.

Saya kumpulkan semula kawan-kawan masa Kristian dulu. Saya berdialog tentang Islam. Saya kumpulkan derma untuk tujuan dakwah ini,untuk bergerak perlukan wang. Saya diancam oleh puak Kristian. saya juga diancam oleh umat Islam.

Apa tauliah awak,mana kebenaran Jabatan Agama, mana permit polis,sapa benarkan pungut derma dll. Saya tak gentar berdialog dengan puak Kristian,kerana saya ada pengalaman tapi sukarnya bila Umat Islam sendiri menyulitkan saya.

Marilah kita awasi dakyah Kristian. Satu usaha yang agak ketara ialah di IPT. Pendakyah ini mendekati kaum muslimah, pura-pura nak belajar Islam....jatuh cinta...lalu dimurtadkan...ada yang pura-pura masuk Islam....dan dimurtadkan.

Saya sudah pergi banyak IPT. Saya paling bimbang di Universiti Putra Malaysia. Itulah satu-satunya Universiti yang ada gereja. Gereja ini antara yang aktif untuk memurtadkan orang Islam.

Saya nak nasihatkan kalau ada saudara kita terminum 'Holly Water'.
Sebenarnya air ini dibuat di Vatican City. Dijampi oleh paderi termasuk Pope John Paul yang jemput Perdana Menteri kita dulu. Kalau terminum, cari air kolah dari 3 masjid. Baca Al-Fatihah 1x, Yasin 1x, 3 qul 1x, dan selawat. Ambil sebahagian buat minum dan sebahagian buat mandi. InsyaAllah mereka akan sedar dan dapat diselamatkan. insyaAllah.


Last edited by fikrah_islami on Fri Apr 09, 2004 2:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed Mar 17, 2004 5:58 pm

assalamu'alaikum... :)

AlhamdulilLah... masih diberi kekuatan untuk menulis di sinie.

Besarnya ni'mat yang ALLAH SWT pinjamkan buatku.. namun,
sedikit sekali aku bersyukur... Terlalu banyak ALLH SWT
menyebutkan perihal hamba2-NYA yang kurang bersyukur.

"sedikit sekali kamu bersyukur"...begitulah firman yang selalu
aku jumpa di dalam kitab suci al-Quran. Mengapa aku kurang

Kata ustaz, insan2 yang Rabbani yang mampu menjadi insan
yang dikasihi. Insan2 yang Rabbani sahaja yang mampu
menongkah arus. Bagaimana ingin menjadi insan yang

Insan Rabbani adalah insan yang di dalam hatinya ada
ALLAH SWT. Dia mengharungi hidup inie dengan berpandukan
manual Al-Quran dan As-Sunnah..

Tak sempat aku ingin menghabiskan bicara tentang kuliah
yang telah berkali2 telah aku dengari inie. Cukup memberiku
pengajaran...dengar kata ustaz tak rugie..

Jika ada umur akan kusambung bicaraku inie.., biar ia
mendorongkan aku untuk menjadi insan yang Rabbani..

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed Apr 07, 2004 6:42 pm

assalamu'alaikum... :)

Tiba2 aku tersedar dari tidurku... dalam kepala berfikir, "pukul
berapa dah nie?" Seketika itu juga kedengaran dari surau yang
berdekatan, "ALLAHU Akbar ALLAHU Akbar!"

Dah tiba waktu subuh rupa2nya...

Hmmm subuh2 lagie ALLAH SWT menyedarkan manusia...
dengan kalimah ALLAHU Akbar! ALLAH Maha Besar!
Besarkanlah DIA..! Daripada bangun tidur sehingga tidur
semula... besarkanlah ALLAH SWT!!!

Hidup inie hanya untukNYA. Diri manusia itu milikNYA..
apa sahaja yang dilakukan perlulah membesarkan ALLAH SWT!
DIA Pencipta 'alam inie dan segala isinya...

Bangunlah manusia! Besarkanlah ALLAH SWT dalam apa sahaja
yang kau lakukan... setiap perbuatan perlu mengikut aturan
yang telah ditetapkanNYA..

ALLAH SWT Maha Pengasih lagi Maha Penyayang...lagie Maha
Pengampun lagi Maha Menerima Taubat hamba2NYA..

Pohonlah keampunan ALLAH SWT.. Manusia tidak pernah lari
drp berbuat salah..siapakah lagi yang dapat mengampunkan
dosa2 manusia..

"ampunkanlah Ya ALLAH akan dosa2ku itu..bimbinglah aku
untuk taat kepadaMU"

-musafir kerdil-
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby fikrah_islami on Wed Apr 14, 2004 7:41 pm

In The Name of ALLAH SWT... :)

Aku hadir lagie di sinie...buat mengingatkan diri yang sering
>> lupa dan lalaiii..

Keinsafan itu.... :nangis:
Keinsafan itu...kekadang ia hadir dan kekadang ia hilang...
Tak tahu ke mana perginya keinsafan itu... buat insan2
sepertiku... perlukan dorongan selalu..perlu diingatkan selalu..
fikir2 itu kekadang ia baik kekadang ia buruk. Buruk apabila
syaitan datang menghasut.. baik apabila ia mengingatkan diri..
mengingati ALLAH SWT.. mengingatkan hari MATI.

Keinsafan itu... apabila saat kematian tiba adakah diriku
diredhai? Adakah diriku dirahmati? Adakah aku dimurkai
TUHAN ku? Adakah aku memiliki TAQWA tika itu?

Keinsafan itu... apabila seseorang mengingatkan. Jika dahulu
sahabat2 diingatkan oleh RasululLah SAW saban hari...
Meningkatkan IMAN mereka... maka, sekarang RasululLah
SAW tiada... siapa yang akan mengingatkan aku? Sudah
pastilah 'alim ulama' kerana "ulama warasatul Anbiya".

Di akhir zaman inie...perlu berhati2 memilih guru kerana ada
2 golongan ulama'. Yang pertama golongan yang ikhlas
membimbing ummat dan yang kedua ulama' yang mengharapkan
habuan dunya.. mengapa begitu? ..kerana dunya inie ujian dan
telah ramai yang terpedaya dengan keindahan dunya yang
sementara inie...

Keinsafan itu... dengan mendengar nasyid pun boleh
mengingatkan diri kepada kebenaran... ALhamdulilLah...
Thank You ALLAH ...Thank You ALLAH...!

Yusuf Islam.. salah seorang yang berdakwah melalui nasyid.
Lirik nasyid yang mengingatkan diri kepada ALLAH SWT,
meningkatkan IMAN ..cinta kepada RasululLah SAW...
insan seperti Yusuf benar2 telah mendapat hidayah drp

Terkilan dengan nasyid2 yang berteraskan cinta pempuan. Apa
bezanya dengan lagu cinta pop dan rock? Cinta manusia....
lagu cinta jugak namanya... dan seperti biasa lagu camnie
mendapat tempat utama dalam carta.. carta era dan carta manusia memang camtu... :matabulat:

Keinsafan itu... apabila melihat ummat ditindas dan dibunuh
sesuka hati oleh kuffar... nak pi jihad jer rasanya.. Namun,
apa daya...iman tak kuat, senjata tak ada... jihad yang utama
adalah JIHAD memerangi musuh dalam diri...>>nafsu<<

Ummat hanya akan menang menentang kuffar apabila ummat
bersatu >> make themselves good n help others be good..


nukilan hati : hamba dhaif

Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
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Postby fikrah_islami on Thu Apr 15, 2004 7:35 pm

In The Name of ALLAH SWT...

assalamualaikum wbt

Berhenti sejenak dan renungkan siapakah kita di depanNYA.

Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar
Allahuakbar, Allahuakbar

di mana aku berada
masih enak dalam kelambu rindu
sambil berpoya-poya dengan waktu
masa bagaikan menderu
langkah tiada arah tuju
fikiran terus bercelaru
terlupa aku semakin dihujung waktu
siapa aku di depan Tuhan ku.

aku lebih memikirkan kelaparan
kehausan dan rehatku
aku lebih mementingkan tuntutan jawatanku
aku bertolak ansur dengan waktu
aku gembira membilang keuntungan
aku terlupa betapa besar kerugian
jika aku mengadaikan sebuah ketaatan
siapa aku di depan Tuhan ku.

aku lupa warna masa
cepat berubah bagaikan ditolak-tolak
aku masih dengan secawan kopiku
terlupa panas tidak dihujung kepala
aku masih bercerita
tentang si Tuah yang setia dan si Jebat yang derhaka
siapa aku di depan Tuhan ku

aku melihat warna malam
tetapi aku masih berligar di sebalik tabirnya
mencari sisa-sisa keseronokan
tidak terasa ruang masa yang singkat
jalan yang bertongkat-tongkat
ruginya bertingkat-tingkat
siapa aku di depan Tuhan ku.

kerana masanya yang panjang
aku membiarkan penat menghimpit dadaku
aku membiarkan kelesuan mengangguku
aku rela terlena sambil menarik selimut biru
bercumbu-cumbu dengan waktuku
siap aku di depan Tuhan ku.

kini aku menjadi tertanya-tanya
sampai bila aku akan melambatkan sujudku
apabila azan berkumandang lagi
aku tidak akan membiarkan Masjid menjadi sepi
kerana di hujung hidup ada mati
bagaimana jenazah akan dibawa sembahyang di sini
jika ruangku dibiarkan kosong
jika wajahku menjadi asing
pada mentari dan juga bintang-bintang.


from : e-mail seorang teman..
november 2000
Tubna ila ALlah, wa raja'na ila ALlah, wa nadimna 'ala ma fa'alna.....ALlah mengilhamkan sukma kefasikan dan ketaqwaan.
Beruntung bagi yang mensucikannya. Merugi bagi yang mengotorinya
User avatar
Posts: 1913
Joined: Thu Jan 01, 1970 8:00 am
Location: alam ruh ke alam rahim ke alam dunya ke alam barzakh..


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