muhasabah diriiiiii..
Mujahida V.2
by Umm Zaid
I am Khadijah
I was the first believer
stood strong and supported my man
when the world was against him
kept my back straight and survived
dignity by the caravan full
I believe in something greater than myself
I believe in something you can't see
and
I am more than you imagined
I am `Ai'isha
stood my ground against the slander
perpetrated against me
never bent having trust that
the truth would be Revealed
don't need you to like me
`cuz my love for my Lord is
more than enough to
sustain me through half-date days
uh-huh, that's right --
I am more than you ever imagined.
No, I was never the mystery you created for me,
yet I've never been that easy for you to figure out.
I am Muslim woman, hear me roar,
700 million is too many for you to ignore.
You can find me
in Cairo struggling
to survive in the City of the Dead
dead-end job
where anger rises out of Upper Egypt
where desert dust rises to choke the young
over in Jakarta stitching
together $150 sneakers for the NBA
getting paid $2 a day
while restlessness burns
the country around me
up in Tehran chador debating
the finer points
of foreign policy and culture and the new Iranian cinema
looking forward to a brighter future
recovering from a war that cost us our fathers and brothers
down in Jenin arms reaching
towards heaven
screaming for my sons and daughters and land
throat burning rough and jagged
tears scorching hot and ragged
Mother of the Stones
rough and jagged in my hands
like rocks we used to clear
before planting our land
back in Istanbul standing
before soldiers with guns aimed at me
forbidden an education because
I have chosen not to reveal a thing
on trial for treason because I've kept myself a secret
there in Baghdad begging
journalists for
cans of milk to feed my child
suspended between fear and numbness
I lost the ability to be shocked and awed years ago
there is only sadness and the struggle to live and that
tiny corner of peace in the morning when fajr is called
here in New York where I'm part of the fabric
and I'm not
and all they care about is the
fabric on my head
stressing on the way I'm dressing
blame is assigned easily, but I swear,
I was washing dishes in my kitchen
that morning,
I had nothing to do with it,
I disassociate myself,
I disavow myself,
I'm not one of them,
I'm you
don't you know me?
Didn't we go for coffee together in college?
Haven't I been your neighbor for years?
in all of your myths I'm voiceless
but the truth is louder than words
you can stop lifting the veil
going behind the burq'a
stop trying to pay a price for my honor
and adding up 9 parts of desire
no need to go in search of Islamic feminism
it's the radical belief that Islam defines us as dignity
and commands our men to honor that
I'm only a veiled threat to your mindset and
it's time for a new paradigm
we can get beyond the veil
as soon as you acknowledge that
a woman wearing a face veil
can be just as complex and intelligent
as the woman who lets it all hang out
and if you wanna know about
the forgotten queens of Islam
I'm right here
and in Cairo Jakarta Tehran Palestine Istanbul Baghdad
Islamabad Herat Kuala Lampur Sarajevo Fez `Amman Dearborn
Bradford Toronto and New York
Wherever you go, there you'll find me
sister, wife, daughter, mother, friend
more than a terrorist's mate
more than a scarf
more than one wife of many
more than a green card special
I lay claim to my inheritance
I am the daughter of the warrior Nusaybah
I am the daughter of Belqis the Queen of Sheba
I am the daughter of the scholar Umm Hani
I am the daughter of the zahida Rab'ia
I am the daughter of the poet Maysun bint Bahdal
wife of the khulafa,
sister of the scholars,
mother of the martyrs,
I was never the mystery you created for me,
yet have never been that easy to pin down.
I believe in something greater than myself,
something you can't see,
my love for my Lord
has always been enough to sustain me.
I am Muslim woman hear me roar,
700 million is far too many for you to ignore.
March 2003



